April's Heart

Peephole

Days had passed since the funeral and Jae still hadn't said anything more about moving back to the US. In fact, they seemed to be getting quite comfortable in their everyday life. April was studying Korean, mostly by watching television and Jae kept himself busy doing some accounting for the landlord in exchange for rent. He sat at the table with a calculator and piles of papers scattered all around him. April wasn't sure, but she assumed their landlord had gotten himself into some financial hot water and he had enlisted Jae to get him out of it. Every once in a while she heard him mumble to himself, shaking his head and crumpling up calculator tape. He seemed frustrated but happy. He was working at his own pace, doing a job that had no real deadline. In fact, he often joined April on the sofa with snacks of fruits and vegetables and helped her make sense of what Park Seo Joon was saying on the TV.

When break time was over he'd sigh heavily and say ppo ppo, his way of asking for a small kiss before getting up and going back to work. It was all so simple and April had never been happier and more afraid. In her life, every time she had become used to a man being there and loving her she lost him. Her father, Kenny. She just hoped that Jae was the exception to that rule, not only for her but for their child.

"I'm going to go out and get some groceries," Jae said after looking in the refrigerator for something to eat and coming up short. "Would you like to join me?"

"I'd love to," April said taking his already outstretched hand.

He pulled her up off the sofa with ease and they walked out to the street. The day was warm but tolerable and April loved the feeling of the sun on her face, its rays deepening her skin's natural glow. When they got to the grocery store, she decided to sit outside on a bench and let Jae shop. Her ankles seemed to have doubled in size overnight and the heat wasn't helping. She leaned down to loosen her ever tightening sneaker when she heard her phone ring, a sound she had nearly forgotten and especially didn't expect in the middle of the day, seeing it was the middle of the night for everyone who might call her.

Her heart dropped when she looked at the screen and saw that her mother was video calling her. She tried to do the backwards math and figure out what time it was for her mother and she came up with 1am. It had to be an emergency. There was no other reason for her to be calling so late. April held the phone out so that her mother could see her, and slid her shaking finger across the screen.

"Mom, is everything ok?"

Her mother smiled on the other end of the call, her skin dewy with oils, her hair tucked under a satin wrap.

"Yes, sweetie, everything is fine. You'll never guess who I ran into today at the gym."

Oh my gosh, the gym. Of course. She hadn't thought about the gym.

"Kenny," they said simultaneously.

"How did you know?"

"It's just the way my life's going," April mumbled. "I just guessed. What did he tell you? I mean, what did you talk about?"

"Not much. That boy is strange, honey. I think he was trying to avoid me. I had to follow him into a class for pregnant women. Anyway, he mentioned that you wanted to talk to me but the time difference was making it hard. So, I thought I'd come to you."

"How thoughtful of him," April growled through clenched teeth.

"Where are you sweetheart? You're sweating."

"Oh, I'm sitting outside the grocery store."

"Oh my god," her mother exclaimed, "does that man have you begging for food? Honey, there's no shame in coming home. We've all made horrible mistakes. You live and you learn."