April's Heart

Home

April sat uncomfortably on Jae's sofa as he brought boxes out of his bedroom. She told him he could keep his things in her unused storage locker in the basement of the building. Keep them, that is until he sent for them to be transported to Korea. They had spent the past 3 days together, barely leaving each other's side. She helped him pack though she was mostly useless, having to stop so frequently to wipe away her tears. He would notice and try to comfort her with a hug and in response, she would try to smile. But for all their trying they knew they were failing. Simply pushing feelings aside that would soon have nowhere to go. They were 4 days away from their goodbye.

Jae was getting daily updates on his mother. She was stable but that could change at any time. April could tell how much his mother was weighing on his heart, though he tried to hide it from her. Often as they lay or sat together, he seemed to be lost in thought. Washed away on a sea of memories of the woman who sacrificed so much to raise him alone. The woman who, though she worked three jobs, was somehow always there to tuck him in at night. The woman who believed that he could come to America and make a good life for himself, something she longed for him to have, though she could never quite provide it for him herself.

"Are you hungry?" Jae asked, joining April on the sofa.

She wasn't. Eating was the last thing on her mind but she felt that maintaining normalcy was important. She didn't want to add to Jae's list of mounting stresses.

"Sure," she said.

"Let's go out and get something to eat. We've been cooped up in here too long."

April nodded. Jae was right. Their self-isolation wasn't healthy and she knew that it would only make it harder to separate when that time inevitably came. Hiding from the outside world wasn't going to keep them together. They may as well try to enjoy themselves while they still had the chance to do so.

"How about that &pizza on U Street. I know it's your favorite."

"Ok, let me take a shower and I'll meet you outside in 20 minutes."

Jae smiled and kissed her cheek. Not his normal smile, but his new smile. A smile filled with longing and regret. April found it amazing and heartbreaking that a simple curve of his lips could convey such emotion. Was he so laden with sadness that every gesture indicated as much? Or perhaps it was her projecting her emotion onto him. His smile was the same but her inner turmoil turned it into something else. She couldn't think about it anymore. He was right, they needed to get out.

The walk to the pizza place was a short one and Jae held her hand the whole way. Besides the movie theater, she had never been with him away from their apartment building. They were finally on their long-overdue first date.

Inside, Jae ordered for her and in the middle of ordering the boy behind the counter began speaking to him in Korean. He replied, smiling and she watched his mouth, mesmerized as his lips formed the beautifully foreign words. It sounded to her like music. Melodic with a rhythm that was somehow missing from English.

Jae paid for the pizzas, said goodbye to the boy who made them and they left, finding seats at a small table outside the restaurant. For a moment they ate in silence, enjoying the warmth of the sun on their skin and the sounds of the city around them. April was glad she had agreed to come out to eat. She loved her neighborhood and just being out among the people instantly improved her mood. Her home wasn't just the place where she slept every night, it was where she chose to live. It was her neighbors, the little stores run by husbands and wives who knew her by name. Her favorite restaurants. It was the lights of the city she watched as she fell asleep every night. As long as she was there, she was home.

"What did you say to that kid?" April asked, breaking the silence.

"Oh, he asked if I was Korean and where I was from. He said his family moved here from Daegu when he was only a few months old. He wants to visit Korea someday. He's saving money for the trip by working here."