April's Heart

Thank You

Later, when April would think back on what happened in the next hour it was all a blur which was a shame because there were some parts she really wanted to remember. Some though, she'd rather forget. She remembered that Jae had kissed her, passionately again. The kind of kiss that melted her knees. As they kissed he easily slipped her dress over her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. She, without looking, was able to undo his belt and pants and they too fell to the floor with a clunk. Then somehow as if by magic, she was lying beside him in his bed. Their clothes were in the living room where they had fallen. Her head was resting on his shoulder, his arms tight around her as if he was afraid she would run away if he let her go.

He kissed her forehead then giggled to himself.

"What?" She asked.

"I'm going to be really late for work."

Shocked, April tried to pull away from him but he held her tight.

"You have to work today?"

"I work every day, April."

"Why didn't you tell me? We could have done this later."

"Honestly, I couldn't wait anymore."

"Jae, you've only waited for two days."

"Two days," he said, positioning himself over her, "too long."

He lay there staring at her, something she noticed he liked to do, for an impossible amount of time. He studied her every feature. She watched his eyes make their way around her face several times before she blushed and turned away.

"Why are you so shy?"

"I don't know. You're looking at me."

"Because you're beautiful."

"I'm not beautiful, Jae."

Jae mock gasped, clutching his heart dramatically. April laughed and he rolled over next to her, pulling her to him again.

"I wish you could see what I see when I look at you. You'd never make a statement like that again."

April had to wonder what Jae saw when he looked at her. Was it some composite of characters that Miss Bailey had concocted to make him fall for her, sight unseen? Had she painted the picture of a superwoman that April could never live up to? When he saw her in her mundane life, would he lose interest?

"Jae, I'm not..."

"Anything special. I know. You said so earlier."

"I'm really not. I'm afraid you are expecting something from me that I can't be. I'm just a woman. A photographer. A homebody. I wear pajamas all weekend if I don't have to go out. I cry at least once a day because of Instagram stories. I love superhero movies. I dance in the grocery store when a good song comes on. I don't know who you expected but I'm just me."

April half expected Jae to kick her out of his bed, apartment and life after her confession. She could have gone on for hours listing her quirks but Jae seemed stunned enough with the few she had named. April sat up, taking Jae's silence as a cue to leave. She swung her legs over her side of the bed, regret setting in immediately and hard. Why had she slept with him so soon? What did that make her?

"April," Jae said shaking his head.

"I know. I'm leaving."

"Lay down," he said sternly.

Hesitantly, April resumed her place next to him, staring up at the ceiling. Again, he positioned himself over her, gently caressing her cheek.

"I don't know what came over me out there," he said, nodding towards the living room. "I'm not like that. I swear. I don't...I don't do this.  I'm acting so out of character I'm scaring myself. I don't regret it, though and I hope you don't either because I want this. I want us. I want you. I'll take you to every superhero movie and I'll dance with you at the grocery store. As long as we're together."