April's Heart

War is Over

April got up early and showered allowing Jae as much rest as possible. The night before she had fallen asleep only to be awakened a few hours later by his restless movements pulling the blankets from her and nearly pushing her off the bed. When he finally calmed down enough for her to get comfortable beside him the sun was peeking through the curtains and dancing across the floor.

She stood and looked outside for a while, desperately wishing she had had the foresight to bring her camera. It seemed every morning brought something new to the landscape she wished she could capture. The expansive sky and clouds, the way the rising sun shone off the buildings reflecting its golden hues in their windows. The same sky, the same sun she used to watch in DC but it was as if she was seeing them for the first time. The sensation was strange yet comforting. Like seeing Jae in the hospital, talking to the doctors in a language she didn't understand. Like holding his hand when she knew his mind was miles away.

In the shower April turned the water as hot as she could stand it and let it pound on her stiff muscles, massaging away the stiffness of a 14-hour flight, two nights on a sofa bed and half a day in a wheelchair. She knew there wasn't enough hot water in the building to ease her aches but she was thankful for what she had. Just as she started lathering her body, Jae knocked on the door.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Sure," April said, surprised by his request.

She could see only his silhouette through the frosted glass of the shower door and she opened it slightly so he could see her. To her further surprise, he was naked.

"I thought I'd join you."

"Ok."

He nodded and stepped into the small shower with her. She watched with unabashed adoration as he backed into the hot water, wetted his hair then lowered his head, allowing the water to flow over his neck and shoulders.

"Here," she said, turning him around.

She lathered a rag and ran it across his muscular back while gently kneading his skin. The tension in him was unreal. Every muscle she touched was taught and he moaned softly as she tried to work out the kinks.

"Does that feel better?" She asked when she was done.

"Much," he replied, turning to her.

Through the steam he reached for her and pulled her into a tight embrace. She wrapped her arms around his neck and though they stood under a scalding shower somehow her tears felt hot as they rolled down her cheeks. She didn't even know why she was crying. Just being close to Jae, being necessary to him, it brought up emotions in her that she had never faced. Feeling his heart beating against her chest, his breath on her neck, his hair between her fingers she felt so complete and she realized how incomplete she had been for so much of her life. Not because she wasn't whole without a man but because she had so much love to give and Jae needed so much love. She knew he hadn't gotten into the shower with her for sex. He wanted to be close to her, to feel her skin on his, to see her exposed and vulnerable, to prove that she was safe with him. He wanted her to know that though his words in the past few days may have been harsh, though he may have turned away, he would always come back to her because she was his home.

"Are you sure you want to go with me today?" Jae asked as they were getting dressed.

"Of course."

"I just hate leaving you out in the hall. At least go sit in the waiting area. I'll text you if I need you. I don't want you to faint again."

"Jae, I won't. Ok. I always get a little light headed around that time of the month. I'm slightly anemic but it's nothing to worry about. I've been dealing with it since I was thirteen"