April's Heart

Forgotten

April stayed up as long as she could, nibbling on the food Jae had brought her, staring out the window at the people below happily living their lives while she sat alone contemplating her unsure future, but as the night wore on it became obvious that he wasn't coming back out. She wrapped herself in a blanket and got into bed willing herself not to cry, refusing to give in to her current situation. She had been through a lot in her life and she would get through this as well. Eventually morning would come and she would be able to talk to Jae, but for the time being, she needed to sleep.

"April?"

The whisper invaded April's dream not long after she'd finally drifted off. She opened her eyes and saw Jae sitting beside her. His expression was lost in the darkness of the room but she could feel tension emanating from him.

"Is everything ok?" She asked, sitting up.

Another stupid question. She braced for his reaction but all he did was shake his head.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

She nodded, unsure how to reply.

"Do you want me to leave?" She asked after a moment of silence.

He looked at her and she noticed the street lights reflecting in his eyes the way the stars had the night they first met. It felt like forever since he had been just that guy in her building. They had gone from strangers to lovers and back to strangers within the space of a few days and in that time, it had become apparent to her that they were supposed to be together. That no matter how much he fought it or how many mistakes she made; in the end they would walk through life together. However, since arriving in Korea her faith in their destiny had been shaken.

"Of course not. Is that what you think?"

"I don't know what to think, Jae. I came here to be with you and to help you though this but I don't think I'm helping. The last thing I want is to make things more difficult for you."

Jae sighed loudly and pulled April into his chest. It didn't take long for her to miss his touch and she reveled in his closeness and warmth while at the same time fearing she would lose it again and not just for a few hours. She feared losing him forever.

"I don't know how to tell you how I feel. It's easy to express love but pain for me is more difficult."

April knew this about Jae. He left her for nearly a year because he couldn't talk to her about his fears and the scars left over from his past but he told her he loved her before they had ever even gone on a date.

"I understand," April said, pulling away from him, "but you have to try. You can't shut yourself behind a door every time you're hurt."

"You're right. I'm going to try to change. I can't lose you again."

"Jae," April said, again resting her head on his chest, "you never did."

April awoke just as the sun rose above the horizon. She sat at the window and watched as the city came to life, amazed by how little she missed home. She missed Kenny, and she had desperately wanted to call him the night before but she knew he would try to convince her to come back and she probably would have gone while Jae was holed up in his mother's room. But she knew she couldn't give up and she was glad she hadn't. Ansan was beautiful. She wanted to stay.

"We'll have to get you some clothes today," Jae said suddenly, startling April. She remembered a time when she would avoid letting him see her undressed at all costs. Now, though, she loved the way he looked at her curves, his obvious admiration giving her back some of the self esteem she'd lost in her childhood and again when Kenny left.