April's Heart

Just The Beginning

Morning.  Every day begins with a glimmer of hope.  April knew this though she was having trouble remembering it.  She knew that Jae's leaving wouldn't be the end of her world.  She would recover and move on but she didn't believe she would ever love again. That would be the takeaway, the scar with which she was left for the rest of her life.  

Beside her Jae lay, looking more peaceful than she was used to seeing him.  Usually as he slept, she could see that he was fighting demons from the past in his dreams.  He would be curled up tight, his brow furrowed, holding on to the blanket with white knuckled desperation.  Just the sight of him made her ache.  All she wanted was for his nightmares to end.

And it seemed that they had, at least for the moment.  She wasn't surprised, though. He was finally going home.  He would be with his mother, something she knew he longed for. He could tell her stories of America and make sure that her final moments were filled with pride for her son had achieved what she hoped he would.  She would be at peace having never known her his lifelong suffering. 

"What are you thinking?"

April hadn't noticed Jae waking up and turning to face her.  He smiled sweetly and pulled her close to him. 

"So many things," April replied.  

"Can you tell me some, or are they secrets?"

"Mostly secrets but I suppose I can tell you one.  I was thinking how wonderful you are."

Jae laughed and squeezed her tight.  She snuggled beside him and closed her eyes a sudden wave of fatigue overtaking her.  She had been unable to sleep much that night, her brain going full tilt until she saw the sun start to rise.  Her thoughts, worries and fears had taken on a life of their own filling her head and denying her rest.  She had just been able to silence them when Jae woke up.  She tried to keep her eyes open but it was impossible, as sleep beckoned she was powerless to resist.  She heard Jae say her name but was asleep before she had a chance to respond.  

April awoke to the scent of coffee and the sound of two men talking.  Jae never watched television so she had no idea what could be going on but as she listened she realized, she knew those voices.  She put on her robe and slippers and cautiously opened  her bedroom door.  There, sitting in her kitchen drinking coffee and chatting like two old friends were Jae and Kenny. April stared at them convinced she was still sleeping.  This was the last thing she expected to awake to.  

"There she is," Kenny said, waving April over.  She slowly made her way to them still in disbelief.

"What's going on?" She asked sleepily.

"Kenny and I were talking," Jae answered as if it was something that happened every day.  He may as well have said, "Oh, I'm just juggling knives."

"I see that. Why?"

"Why not?"  Kenny asked.  

They both laughed and April felt like Alice in the middle of some sick trick played by the Queen of Hearts.  

"Do you want some coffee?" Jae asked. "I know you're exhausted."

"Will it make me shrink?" 

"Um, I don't think so," Jae answered, pouring her a cup and fixing it for her just the way she liked it.

She sat down next to Kenny at the island and stared at Jae.  What was he up to?  And Kenny.  She cut her eyes at him suspiciously.  It felt like a trap but she couldn't figure out which of them was trapping her or why.