1814

fifteen

When i woke up my face felt heavy. Almost like i'd been crying in my sleep, which i didn't think was possible. Then again, i had travelled though time so at this point i couldn't give less of a shit.

I felt the sun come through the curtains and fall on my face, with that i pulled the duvet over my head and groaned. Of course Claire came in and opened them even wider so my blanket was no longer a defence mechanism, while also chanting my apparent plan for today. I'm fairly certain that trying cakes was part of it, but i was feeling too sorry for myself to listen.

Sounds narcassistic, i know,  but at this point i'm over modesty.

I sat up and looked at Claire and somehow she understood my message to stop talking and leave. i felt at peace with myself when she finally did, but soon after Ambrose replaced her and i shot up out of bed again. He held two waistcoats each in one hand and stood infront of my mirror. "Ambrose, you have you're own mirror." I groaned. "Yes sister, i am aware of that, but yours makes me look taller." He replied. "Which one?" He added switiching between the two as he held them to his torso. I slid both of my hands up and down my face with frustration and sighed, "the red one." I pointed lazily. "yes, i was thinking that one too." He beamed while walking out.

I finally lay my head back down on my pillow, and was able to shut my eyes again.

For a maximum of one second.

My mother came crashing through the doors and straight over to my closet. "aaaaand i'm up!" I sacrastically smiled, I gave in to my tiresome family and walked straight out of the room, still in my nightgown. Mother mother hastily followed, but only to the door. "Diana? Diana! Come back Diana, you must wear clothes!" She yelled, waking everyone else in the house up. I didn't even turn back around, i just kept going forward, down the stairs and to the parlour. I sat down and started cut a piece of toast in half. I spread jam on one and honey on the other. My brothers seemed to have stopped everything that they were doing just to watch me in shock. "Diana how-" Matthew tried to asked before i completely cut him off with a sharp 'shh' and a wave of my hand infront of my face.

Once i'd finished my breakfast i left without saying anything to my brothers and came across my mother on the stairs. I turned to face her with a large, fake smile spread across my face, "I do not wish to get dressed today mama." I beamed before continuing up the stairs. "But you must. We are having the Penbrooke's over for luncheon (lunch)" She told me calmly. The smile on my face grew even bigger with anger, and i could have sworn i heard a glass smash and smoke coming out of my ears. I turned to face her, not even dropping my smile slightly. "Pardon?" I asked in disbelief. "Well we've got to tell them that you are no longer courting James, rather Mr Fitzwilliam. If we tell them, there's a less likely chance of losing them as friends you see." She replied, chuckling at her master plan and carrying on downwards.

I felt my face drop. Not because of anger or frustration, more at the mention of his name let alone no longer courting him. If i wasn't courting him, then there would be no point in ever talking to him again. It felt like my heart was slowly dropping to my stomach, slowly giving up on any chance of love, or even happiness.

I ended ud dragging myself to my room and eventually i got there, slowly but surely right? I asked Claire to help me get ready.