What A Wonderful Nightmare

Concealed

Clay's POV

About a week had passed since the soccer practice. Every day Clay would try and work up the courage to tell George how he felt. With words this time. He hadn't been successful in doing so yet. He felt so confident until the brunette's glimmering eyes looked up at him with pure innocence. A look that made Clay melt. He would tell George soon. When the time is right.

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 It's break. No school for an entire week. Finally a chance for me to catch up on sleep. God I needed this. It also gives me time to work out how to tell George. Maybe it's time I say something to Sapnap...no. We aren't as close as we used to be, he might get mad.

Clay rolled out of bed, the brunette's body already absent. He hated that feeling. the feeling of waking up to no one there. He was fine before, always waking up alone his entire life. But now? Now it was a horrible feeling. Absolutely horrible. Clay slowly stood up from the sitting position he was in, stretching his arms upwards as he extended his legs. He could feel the bags under his eyes. The moon shaped scars on his palms. He typically covered them with his mom's old makeup kit that Clay still had hidden in the house. They were mainly on his right hand, the one he held George's with less often. He didn't really have a plan if George asked. Clay was pretty decent at coming up with excuses on the spot. Usually anyway. 

Clay walked outside the bedroom, opening the door quietly to allow himself an uninterrupted walk to the bathroom. He succeeded and carefully locked the door behind him. He pulled the vent cover from off the ceiling and slowly slid out a makeup kit. Concealer and foundation usually did the trick. Clay wasn't much of a makeup guy after all, he just knew what he did based on watching his mom as he grew up. 

The more you smear it the more it looks 'real'

Clay finished applying and 'smearing' the tan substance, packed everything back up, and returned it to it's secret home in the bathroom. Clay stared in the mirror for a moment, something he typically tried not to do. His eye bags were dark, his hair was a complete raggedy mess, his skin was slightly pale, and his eyes looked dull.

Is this what George sees when he looks at me? God, he's probably disgusted by me. He hasn't even seen the worst parts of me yet. He hasn't seen the s-

"Clay! I have to peeee hurry up in there!"

He's always so positive. How can someone who's been through so much manage to stay in that mindset?

"Sorry. Be out in a sec." Clay sighed, looking one more time at the disheveled figure in the mirror. He washed his hands under the faucet, using a small brown washcloth to dry his hands. He then made his way out of the bathroom, the brunette running in before Clay had even fully stepped out.

He's so adorable. Such a dork. How can someone so wonderful. So pure. So golden. Even want to be around a fuck up like me. I failed to save my mom, almost failed to save him if it weren't for the timing, wasn't a good enough son for my dad, hell I wasn't even a decent enough friend to Sapnap. 

He paused. His mind going blank.

George is like the sun. Sometimes it burns to look at him. His personality is so bubbly and cheerful. His smile is blinding. I shouldn't love him. I shouldn't, but I do. I'll only bring him down. My emotions will get in the way. I'll break the shield of positivity he holds so strongly. I'll ruin him. I can't do that. I can't break him like that, and if I start it'll slowly spread. If I crack the shield the lines will grow. The evil will seep through the cracks, shattering it from within. That's not fair to him. He's had a bad life, he wants me to fix it. I think. I'll only make it worse though. I'll only...

Clay's sight began to fade. Exhaustion taking over him. His legs went weak, unable to support his weight any longer. He collapsed, in what felt like slow motion to the blonde boy. He was completely drained of all energy. He needed rest. He needed rest.

"CLAY?" a voice called. who's voice...who's...voice..

"I...need....sle..."

Darkness

Sleep

Rest

Peace

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Word Count: 744

I know this is short but I felt a short one was fitting this time. Lot's of Clay's thoughts and feelings. ALSO THANKS FOR 500 READS HOLY MF SHIT. I love you all!!!! If you ever need anything dm me on twitter, I'll try and help:)

my new twitter @ is x_simpnap_x