Dark Secrets Series: His Drastic Devotion

Chapter 3

I got home at exactly 4 pm. Papa already prepared our dinner even though may mga maids naman. Ever since I got pregnant, he became more hands on to me and I love Papa even more because of that. I greeted Papa at inalalayan muna ako nito bago umupo sa pwesto nito.

"So, how is it going?" Papa asked.

"Masaya po. I was having fun and met someone." Papa is more attentive now. Natawa ako doon, he even urged me to tell him more and of course, I told him everything and he laughed.

"Papa, it isn't funny." He was gesturing that he doesn't laughing anymore yet I still heard him chuckling.

Nagpatuloy na lamang ako sa pagkain. Papa's cooking skills really amazed me though. At napakasaklap na hindi ko ito namana.

"Such a generous man." Papa said.

Natigil ako sa pagsubo. At hindi napigilang sarilinin ang opinion.

"Everyone can be generous Papa if they need to, yet they could be the opposite of that if they wanted to." I blurted out. I heard him sighed and suddenly heard my hand.

"Anak, I'm so sorry." He said guiltily. Napalingon ako agad kay papa and felt guiltier more.

"Papa stop it, it's not your fault. Kasalanan ko at kasalanan ng ama ng ako ang nangyari. Nasaktan at nadurog ako pero Papa, this baby saved me. Let's just forget about it, okay?" I poured my heart out of it. I said it genuinely. I don't hold grudges against my baby's father however, I can't easily forgive him either too.

Papa nodded and changes our topic. He asked me if I want a vacation at naisip kong napaka-gandang ideya non. Sumang-ayon naman ako. A fresh breath of air would be nice.

"Good. Maybe you can ask Thellianne to accompany. Hahabol naman ako after." I agreed to Papa. Natapos ang hapunan ng masaya.

Hinatid ako ni Papa sa kwarto tulad pa rin noon. We exchanges good nights and after that I went to the bathroom and I took a shower. Nagsasabon ako ng katawan ng may naramdaman akong kakaiba sa aking katawan. Gusto kong kastiguin ang sarili ng maalala ang bawat haplos ng lalaking estranghero na iyon. I wanted to be touched like that again. Gusto ko mang pandirihan ang sarili ko subalit hindi ko iyon maramdaman. Marahil nagkaroon man ako ng pobya sa mga lalaki at hindi ko iyon maiiwasan pa, nagkukusa ang katawan ko at bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko.

Nagbanlaw ako agad bago pa masapian ng temptasyon na hindi ko pa nagagawa kailanman. Nagbihis ako ng pantulog at kinuha ang cellphone. I dialed Thellianne's number. Nag-usap kami saglit at binaba ang tawag; she said that she's willing to accompany me pero hindi ko pa sinabi kong saan, but I told her that one of these days kami aalis. I should probably search wonderful places in Philippines right now. Hindi pa naman ako tinatamaan ng antok.

Ang daming suggestions ni Google pero may isang nakakuha ng attention ko. I remembered this place as my childhood dream. Isa ito sa mga goals ko noon na nakalimutan ko dahil sa nangyari. I was a fan of this beautiful author even until now though. Pero nawalan lamang ako ng oras dahil inaayos ko pa ang sarili kong nawasak.

It feels good thinking about that dream again. I laughed thinking about finding my own jboy there. I was so full of hope before pero alam kong napaka imposible na ngayon. I'm going to be a mommy now. My full attention should be on my baby not in someone else. I packed up the things I needed before I went to bed.