F R A G I L E

i might have been

Not poetry.

_______________

Puzzle #1: I might have been.
- a.

Fear.

What fear is he feeling?

He fears of many things,

But the most might be; 

Fear of his own fear.

____________

He woke up today staring at himself in the mirror,
the pale face and red rimmed eyes disgust him,

he curled his fists,

Wishing

That

He

Might

Be

Fine.

_________

"What's up with you today? " Hiroto hold his wrist firmly. 

He feigned innocent,  face blank as usual.
"What's wrong? "

He loves his friends,  but it's not enough.  And the fact that he felt like this makes him feel disgusted.

But then-

He put his arm around Hiroto's broad shoulders,  "cant a lad have a bad day once in a while? "

He had always been.

__________

Words has always felt like a play to him,
He can twist them,  and make them emotional,
Or simply make it elegant to present himself in front of others.
He never seek comfort by words,
but then maybe because nobody can lift up to his expectations. 

Very few know what words could trigger him.
Or none at all.

No one really knows that words are his playground,  that if you ever
hesitate with your words or be insincere,
  he could know within less than a minute.

He had always pretend their words are alright.

But it lacks colour he always need.

So then,  his family stop saying anything.
.

.

Surprisingly,  he found himself tired of genius words today.

"Hey. " he spoke then.

Hiroto stopped chewing his mini donut, eyebrows raised.

Bile rising in his throat,
" have you ever feel like you cant escape from yourself? That your mind is your own fear?"

Hiroto stopped eating for a while,  deep in thinking. 
"Some days. "

His breathe rushed in his lungs.

"What did you do about it? "

" Ignore it and try to enjoy
the day.  It will disappear. "

But

What

If

He asked then,  "what if you cant? "

He waited for the comfort to come-

He waited for the relief to come,  that he might not be alone after all. 

He waited
.

And waited
.

Hope blooming in his fragile heart

But Hiroto answered quietly, voice almost drowning in the busy,  loud city,
  "you shouldn't be."

" you shouldn't feel like you can't. "

"Because then, "

Hiroto regards him with solemn eyes that makes his blood ran cold.

And

He

Just

Want

To

Hide

"It will kill you. "

He stopped breathing
But he smiles,  hiding the more crushed soul.

Because in all the glory,

He

Had

Already

Been

Killed .

Maybe he did died that day. 

"Is this for your college research? The question?  " Hiroto asked.

He laughed,  "yes. It is. "