Binary Boyfriends

12 ~ New Beginnings

I could feel his stare on me. It was like laser beams were piercing my skin and the only way to avoid them was to run and hide. Or hit something, but that didn't really seem like an option now.

"Are you..."

"No. Well, maybe. Look man I don't know ok."

"Hey dude it's fine it's fine. I completely support the community, I don't want you to think I don't support them, I really do! Whether it's gay, lesbian, bi, trans, pan, you name it and I support it!"

"Miguel you're rambling."

"Sorry, sorry. I just- I didn't expect it."

Me neither, I thought.

"I mean I don't really know yet... I just... I can't explain it."

"Hey man, don't worry about it! There's no reason you have to label yourself if you're not ready. Just take time to figure everything out and I'll be here for you."

I looked at Miguel and smiled slightly. He smiled back and grabbed his empty soup bowl.

"I'm gonna go bring this back to the kitchen. Do you wanna stay over for a little while?"

"Sure, I'll just text my mom."

"Awesome!"

Miguel walked out of the room and I was left alone staring at his wall. I checked my phone to text my mom and there was a message from Demetri. I could feel my heartbeat start to quicken as I read it

Demetri: I know we're probably not on good terms, but are you feeling better?

I couldn't help, but smile looking down at my screen. I tried to hide it, but I remembered what Miguel said. That's definitely love.

Hawk: yeah man, thanks

There were a million things I wanted to say, but that was the only thing I managed to get out. I knew he cared about me, but he was right, we weren't on good terms. I wanted to forget everything and move on, but every time I tried, something got in the way. I wanted to talk with him about it all, but I knew it wouldn't be a good idea. At least not now. He finally had a girlfriend, and was in a great dojo that taught him well, and I didn't want to mess anything else up for him. I owed him that.

I heard the door to Miguel's room open and he came back holding two bowls of cookie dough ice cream.

"I thought you could use some of this," he said, handing me the bowl and smiling.

I smiled back and took the bowl from his hand. I immediately started devouring the ice cream and it was delicious.

"Would you wanna ride to school together tomorrow? I could pick you up at your house in the morning." Miguel said

(a/n: basically everyone has their license and a car by now in this story)

"That'd actually be great man. Thanks."

"Ok! We could like, catch a movie afterwards or something if you want. Maybe help take your mind off of... stuff."

Miguel always knew exactly what to say and I had no idea how he did it.

"Great!"

After about 30 more minutes of just talking and laughing I decided to leave. It was nice just chilling with him, but I knew my mom wanted me home for dinner and I didn't want to keep her waiting.

"Later man."

"Bye dude." I said closing the front door behind me.

Right as I stepped outside I immediately checked my phone and saw that there was a text from Demetri. My heart almost leaped out of my chest.

Demetri: That's good to hear. Do you wanna maybe meet up again? As long as you promise to be civil this time.😅

My hands were sweating profusely and I didn't know how to respond. I obviously wanted to see him, but I was scared I might blow up again. I couldn't control my emotions around him and no matter how much I cared for him the stress made me furious.

I knew I would never be able to get past this if I never faced my fears though. Don't be a pussy Hawk.

Hawk: Miguel and I are going to a movie tomorrow, but you can come over to my place after if you want.

Send.