Binary Boyfriends

33 ~ Party Blues Pt. 1

TW // panic attack

It was finally the day of Yasmine's party which meant that Dem would be coming over in about an hour and I was in my bathroom getting ready. I had run out of my hair product yesterday so I wouldn't be able to have my usual mohawk, but this time I didn't really care. After the first time it happened and only a couple people said anything it didn't worry me as much.

I finished getting ready and sat patiently waiting on my bed when I received a text from Dem saying he was heading over now. My heart started thumping rapidly in anticipation of him being here so I took a couple deep breaths remembering that this was Demetri, my best friend, and there was nothing to be worried about.

I heard my phone ding and I immediately opened it seeing a text from Demetri that he was here. My hands were sweating profusely, but I told him he could just let himself in and head up to my room cause he knew where we kept the spare key. I was in the middle of taking deep breaths when I heard a soft knock on my door.

"Come in!"

"Hey man what's up," he said and I reached my hand out to him for a fist bump.

"Nothing much, but I'm ready to get started. I wanna make sure I have enough time to shower before the party."

"Are you gonna keep your hair down? It looks nice like that," Demetri said, inching closer to me and lightly running his hand through my hair.

I got really flustered and stood in awe of his bright eyes and fluffy black hair that sat so perfectly atop his head.

"Um yeah... probably, I r-ran out of um... hair spray." I choked out.

"You're really cute when you're nervous," he said, making me blush uncontrollably. I had never seen him so confident and it caught me off guard.

"W-What?"

"Nevermind," Demetri laughed. "Let's just get to training!"

The two of us started training and sparring with each other until eventually I got everything down. It didn't take too long so we had some time to kill before the party. I took a quick shower and threw on the new hoodie and sweatpants that I had bought at the mall and then went back to my room where Demetri was patiently waiting, reading a comic on his phone.

When I walked into the room I saw him look up from his phone and his eyes widened at the sight of me. I felt my face get a little warm, but i just walked over to him and sat next to him on my bed with my legs draped over the sides.

"Um we should probably start heading out soon."

"Yeah sure man, who's car?"

"I mean yours works I guess," I said, twiddling my fingers.

"Awesome, let's go!"

-

The two of us arrived at the party and there were already tons of people there. I spotted Brett hanging out with the lacrosse team and waved at him a little, but didn't want to take him away from his friends. Demetri and I walked in together and I could tell he was super tense so I gently brushed my arm against his and I felt him ease up a little bit.

"If you ever need to leave we can," I said and he only nodded back to me in response.

Everyone was having an awesome time partying and dancing around us, but we were just trying to avoid them. We walked over to a couch near the corner of the room and sat down after grabbing a couple drinks.

"Hey guys!" Miguel walked up to us and sat in a couch across from us.

We both smiled back at him, but neither of us responded.

"Uh there's people playing games out back if you wanna come with me."

I looked over to Demetri who shrugged and we both got up to follow Miguel out. There were people all around playing drinking games and jumping into the pool in the back of Yasmine's house. I spotted Moon and Yasmine sitting out by the pool and quickly turned away before they noticed me so that I wouldn't draw attention to Dem.

"You guys want to play beer pong or anything?"

"I think we're good actually, but thanks," I said knowing Demetri wanted to spend as little time here as possible.

"Alright imma be over there with Sam, but let me know if you change your mind," Miguel said and then left us.

Miguel and Sam had somewhat made up now, but I still don't think she had told him everything that was going on. Everything surrounding us had somehow gone back to being complicated and it sucked, but that's just life sometimes I guess

We went back inside and I noticed Yasmine and Moon walking up to us so I looked to Demetri to start a conversation, hoping they'd go away, but Yasmine spoke up.

"Well, well, well, look who we have here."

"Hey Hawk," Moon said, looking at me with a smile on her face.

"Hey," was all I replied with.

"Are you two gonna party or just sit here and mope the whole time?" Yasmine added, wiping the smile off of Moon's face.

"Come on Yas let's just go."

"No. If they're gonna show up to my party they better at least do something and not just sit alone in the corner like the nerds they are."

"Oh yeah well you didn't think I was such a nerd when you were screaming my name," Demetri snapped back causing my eyes to bulge out of my head.

Yasmine stood there shocked, but then just played it off trying to keep her usual bitchy demeanor.

"No matter what happened between us I never liked you loser. You can show up here with your weird friend and pretend like you're one of us, but we all know you never will be."

Moon looked super uncomfortable and tried to pull Yasmine away, but she still wouldn't stand down.

"Demetri don't waste your time with her," I spoke up, but I could see how angry he was getting.

"Oh and what are you gonna do? We all remember what you were like before you got that stupid haircut. No one liked you and it's not like anyone does now, they're just scared of you. You'll always be that pathetic loser with the disgusting lip and just because you may be able to throw a punch now that'll never go away."

I felt my throat tighten up and everything came flooding back to me all of a sudden. No one had spoken to me like that since I changed and it just reminded me of how alone I felt every day of my life. I was bullied relentlessly and the only person I had was Demetri before I ruined that too. Did everyone really hate me? I thought I was trying to make it up to everyone, but maybe it wasn't enough.

"Hey Eli are you ok?"

I could feel myself start to panic and it felt like everyone's eyes were on me. My breaths were growing more desperate and I couldn't think straight. I tried to hold back tears, but it hurt to not let everything out. I sunk to the ground trying to get in a deep breath, but I couldn't. My lungs felt like they were closing and it made me freak out even more.

"Awww look the little boy's scared," Yasmine said laughing and then a bunch of people came around us to see what was happening.

I wanted to run and scream, but I couldn't move. My heart was racing and everyone gathering around just made it so much worse. I could hear random voices all around, but I couldn't focus on anything.

"Is he ok?"

"What happened?"

"Look at that loser."

"I thought Hawk was a badass."

"Should we call someone?"

Time felt like it was racing, but standing still at the same time. God I was such a pussy. I felt Demetri shaking me a little, but I couldn't keep my focus on him. There was so much commotion around and it was like I forgot how to breathe.

"Breath Eli, breathe," I heard in the back of my mind, but it wasn't helping. I was having a panic attack in the middle of a party and there was nothing anyone could do to help me. Well this is just awesome.