Devotion |Kylo Ren x Reader|AU|

~Resolve~

Nearly five weeks had passed since Kylo Ren had admitted his feelings for you. Not much had changed, but in some sense, everything had changed. The cabin—fortunately—hadn't been the destination of anymore unwanted visitors or attacks. Things had been rather silent in Kylo's world. No signs from Snoke or his men, or even from the pesky officer who had been so adamant about locking Kylo up.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, he could finally take a breather. The walls he had built around him had dropped long enough to let you in; now you were the only one inside. He was still defensive here and there, but the constant stress of being on edge was beginning to fade.

In his lifetime, Kylo had never considered the possibility of leaving his career behind. Until now. Now that he had something—someone—to protect, he couldn't afford a life in which he was constantly looking over his shoulder. There were too many risks that would involve you. Kylo had enough money to last him for a few decades before it would even become a concern. Your safety, your combined future together, felt more important now.

He hadn't admitted it to you yet. Part of him thought you would be happy to see such a horrible career go, but you also wanted what was best for Kylo. For once, he hoped it wouldn't be the latter. It was already a conversation he had had with Vicrul while you were out and about with Lotte one day. Vicrul was supportive, but he had his concerns. Stepping away from being an assassin wouldn't guarantee your safety entirely. There were still people that would want Kylo's head on a platter.

Sometimes it was still difficult for Kylo to wrap his head around it. How the woman sleeping in his bed wasn't just there to suck him off and go. She didn't want his money, sex, or his looks. Just him. Had he never met you, Kylo would have reverted back to his old ways by now. It was easier that way. It was easier not to care for someone so that nobody got hurt in the end. Just sex with no strings attached.

The sex was all fun and games for a while. Get up, go out, find some women in a bar that were looking for the same thing, then go home and end up fucking her. It wasn't uncommon for him to have his cock buried in some random pussy. A risky game to be sure, but it was release. The only real control he had over his life. After a while, they all started to get boring. They would try to excite him by bringing in more girls. The girls would crawl all over him, let him do what he pleased, and were sent on their way.

He couldn't imagine sending you away.

To fuck you mercilessly only to wake up the next day and push you out of the cabin. The look on your face would tear him to pieces. He despised imagining such a thing. The confusion on your face, the hurt in your eyes. You would say something like 'I thought you cared about me' and he would scoff and slam the door in your face. The very idea of that made his skin crawl.

Kylo lets out a long sigh. That very internal monologue was one he experienced almost every morning. His mind liked to go to the worst of places, forcing him to seek console in the body laying beside his own. You were sprawled out on top of him; a common sight for him in the mornings. His fingers trail over your bare back, a smirk tugging at his lips at the side of the marks adorning your skin. Your breasts and stomach must have looked worse.

To be fair, last night had been rough. You had been teasing him through dinner and Kylo didn't take too kindly to it. He had practically thrown you onto the bed and bent you over his lap to deliver your punishment. Hearing your cries of pleasure and pain only fueled him on, pushing him to fuck you until your legs gave out and you lost the number of times he made you cum.

"Morning," he hums.

You groggily lift your head, resting your chin on his chest. You only manage to let out a weak hum nearly matching his. Kylo chuckles, reaching up to push your hair from your face.