Newsies - One shots

"I don't know if I love you"|Ralbert|Pt 1

"I was the first to say I love you, I actually said it the day we started dating which maybe contributed to how I feel now. I tell you day in and day out that I love you because I do.

But I've been thinking, I'm not sure anytmore. Love is such a confusing thing and I don't know if I love you. I know that sounds hash and that doesn't mean I don't want to be with you I just don't know if I understand what love is enough to claim to feel it any more. I do like you, don't get me wrong.

I want to grow old together, get our forever home and raise a child with you but I need to know what love is first. I need to know how it's supposed to feel. "

I put my pen down as the train was still flying down the tracks, getting further and further from the familiarity of my home town and my boyfriend. I left, I felt guilty for not leaving you a decent explanation.

"ill be back in a few day. I need some time - Race" the piece of paper that I ripped out my journal sat folded on the kitchen counter for when you got out of bed. The corners slightly rolled up from when I stood there fidiling with it, trying to rasonalise what I was about to do.

The trees were flying past the train windows and I could see my reflection in the glass. My eyes were slightly red from the sleepless night and my hair looked messy despite the brush sitting in my bag paced on the sit to my left.

I'd only packed a few things. I truly didn't know how long I'd be gone for. 3 tshirts, 2 jeans, and 2 jumpers along with some art supplies, a book and of course my journal. At least 3 of the things in my bag belonged to Albert, I needed something to remind me of him while I was gone on my "journey to discovering love" as buttons out it.

He was the only one I told. I knew if I told Jack or Crutchie or even Davey they'd tell me it was a terrible idea and not let me leave. It hurt not telling anyone and I made Buttons swear not to tell anyone he knew where I was.

I don't think how long I was staring at my reflection but I was drawn back to reality when I hear the friendly voice of the announcements come through the speakers. I was getting off the next stop.

Turning my attention to the small train table in from of my I picked up my battered and rough looking journal along with my pend before placing them back into my back. Looking around the cabin I saw it was mainly empty, only two other people. One further in the back of the cabin. An older gentleman and one a few seats in front of me, a women probably in her mid 20s. Neither of them acknowledged my presents as the train began to stop and I hoisted my decivingly heavy bag onto my older swore back.

Stepping off the train the cold air hit my instantly. Almost a relief until it began to pierce my skin. Placing my bag on the bench I pulled out a jumper. It was black with a few stripes across it. It was Alberts. And it was the first jumper he ever gave me when we first started dating.

Memories started to flood my brain and I was already starting to miss him. Miss his touch, his smell, his smile.

It was too late to go back, I was away for a reason and I wasn't going to give up.

Shoving my arms into the sleeves I pulled it over my head and let it rest on my shoulder, it was baggy and comfortable warming me up quiet quietly as I once again hoisted my bag onto my shoulder and made my way out of the train station.

I was planning on staying in a hotel not too far from the station so I didn't have to walk too far.

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Hi hi this is part 1, Im sorry I havent posted anything for a while but thank you so so much for 5k reads that's amazing!!!