Her, To Home

Chapter#03

She couldn't breathe, she wanted to but she couldn't. Or was it that she could finally breathe? Had she finally found her breath after two years? Did she even know what breathing was like? She has not breathed properly for so long now. The feeling of cool air through the nose, passing along the throat and into the lungs; yes, this was what she felt, alive.

She was breathing again and it was all because of him and yet the pain which followed hit her with so much force that it left her frozen and probably scarred for life. But then, she was scared for two years now, how could another one hurt? But it did, it hurt hard and bad. Wasn't it enough that she dealt with the pain once that she had to experience it all over again? The wounds were still fresh, did he had to come now? Couldn't he wait, maybe ten, twenty....lifetime?

They told her she is better off without him, no more getting in trouble, no more greeting the sight of blood, no more fear of angering him, no more over possessiveness and no more injuries. She told them they were right, she was better off.

She lied.

She didn't tell them that she actually loved getting in trouble with him or because of him because she knew he would do anything to make it up to her. They didn't know how it felt when every time he was injured, he'll call her to fix him because she was the only one he trusted with his body. How would they have known that she found his anger calming and his possessiveness, adorable. She liked when he used to give her a full account of boys which ask her out, telling their great grandfather name to the last meal they had, baring their flaws in front of her, in those times she played with the idea of him becoming a lawyer because she knew he would be good at it.

And finally, the million injuries she had because of him, nobody knew that it used to kill him seeing her bleed. One time when she had broken her leg trying to help him up because he was injured, he had forgot his injury, shaken awake from his unconsciousness and had picked her up and raced her to the hospital.

They didn't know anything.

She wondered for a second why she was defending him? Why she was even bothering to shield him and against herself, it was absurd. Maybe because in the back of her mind she knew he had to leave. The reasons, she didn't know but he had to but what frustrated her was why he came back? She didn't know whether to cry from happiness or pain that kept coming back.

The knock on her bedroom door pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Sara? Honey, June is here. She wants to see you." Her mother voice called out.

"I want to be alone mum, just please." She said softly.

"Okay, honey. I'll leave the dinner outside the door."

She heard her mother's footstep fade away.

She wanted to sleep; her mind was tired, exhausted but she didn't know how to fall asleep. Her thought kept going back to the kiss, that stupid kiss. Why, oh why did he had to kiss her? They were best friends, almost like brother and sister, right?

Her mind went back to the times he had denied being her brother whenever someone hinted it or even said it. How he would harshly snap at anyone who would say he protects her like a big brother. She could almost hear his harsh voice as he snaps, "I am not her brother."

So maybe he was not her brother, for the love of God, the kiss was anything but sibling love but oh God, why did she keep coming back to the kiss? Can't she just forget it? Dean have kissed millions of girls, literally. He just kissed her because, well he had reasons, she was sure. It didn't mean anything, not to him so she can't allow herself to feel anything either.

Dean was fuck and leave kind of guy; she didn't want to be at the end of that statement.

She closed her eyes and pulled the blankets closer, making sure it swallowed her whole. As she tried to count the passing of seconds, sleep over powered her body and she fell deep into a slumber.