Chloe's heart pounded against her chest, so fast that it felt like it would burst, as she held her baby girl in her arms, staring in wonder at her. Since the moment that she was born, Chloe had barely been able to tear her eyes away from her baby, still not quite able to comprehend that she was now a mother.
"I love you." she whispered, smiling down at Freyja as she stared up at Chloe, her large blue eyes taking in her surroundings. She carefully leant forward and placed a soft kiss on Freyja's forehead, her eyes misting with tears as she thought about how much she loved her daughter already. Chloe's eyes flickered up as Paige walked over to her, smiling at the two of them as she approached the bed.
"Are you feeling okay?" Paige asked softly, smiling at Chloe when she nodded slowly.
"You should try and get some rest." she continued, when she noticed that Chloe was struggling to keep her eyes open.
"I don't want to leave her alone." Chloe whispered, her stomach churning at the thought of something happening to her baby when she was asleep.
"She won't be alone, we'll be around." Paige reassured her, carefully perching on the bed and placing her hand on Chloe's knee. Paige shot her a small sympathetic smile when she noticed how anxious Chloe seemed.
"It's alright, everything is going to be fine." Paige told her. Chloe nodded slowly, biting her lip to try and fight the intense wave of emotions that she was feeling. The relief, fear and sadness all rolled into one.
"She's a beautiful little baby." Paige continued.
"She looks like my Mum." Chloe said, smiling proudly.
"She has her father's eyes though." she added sadly, swallowing the lump that was rising in her throat.
"Is he going to be involved with her?" Paige asked. Chloe nodded slowly, sighing deeply to herself as she thought about what she needed to do.
"Do you think you could let him know that she's been born?" Chloe asked, swallowing the lump that was rising in her throat at the thought of seeing Lee again.
"Would you like me to call him?" Paige offered.
"My phone is in my jacket." Chloe told her, not quite able to bring herself to remove Freyja from her arms.
"You have five missed calls!" Paige exclaimed as she picked up Chloe's phone and gazed at the display.
"From Amy." she continued. Chloe sighed to herself, her stomach churning with guilt when she realised that Amy had clearly been trying to contact her to check on her, since she was alone for the weekend. With everything that had happened, she'd completely forgotten to return her call.
"I'll call her in a bit." Chloe said quietly.
"Who am I phoning then?" Paige asked, scrolling through Chloe's phone book.
"Can you just send a text to Sheila please?" Chloe muttered, glancing down at Freyja as she began to fidget in her arms.
"What do you want me to say?" Paige said.
"Just can she tell Lee that the baby has been born and can you also tell her the hospital I'm in." Chloe said reluctantly, wishing with all her heart that she didn't have to do this, but knowing that she had to do the right thing for her baby. Even though she knew that after everything that Lee had done, he didn't deserve to be a part of her life, she couldn't bring herself to deny him his child. Chloe smiled her thanks at Paige as she sent the message and placed her phone safely inside her jacket. Her eyes wandered across the ward as she noticed the couple across from her. Chloe's stomach churned when she noticed the father sitting behind the mother, holding her tightly in his arms as the two of them fussed over their baby.
"Do you have a name for her?" Paige asked, trying to distract Chloe when she noticed that her eyes had filled with tears.
"Freyja Emilia..........Evans." Chloe told her hesitating for a moment as she thought about the baby's surname and how her and Lee had never actually decided what they were going to do about it.
"That's a really lovely name." Paige smiled. Chloe nodded slowly, still not able to tear her eyes away from staring at her baby. She carefully took Freyja's hand in hers, smiling down at her as Freyja gently gripped her thumb. She carefully planted a soft kiss on Freyja's hand.
"You really need to get some rest Chloe, you've been through a major ordeal." Paige prompted her.
"Freyja will stay beside your bed, nothing will happen to her." she continued. Chloe nodded reluctantly, carefully placing Freyja safely inside her crib. She stroked her head affectionately, wincing in pain as she turned on her side and snuggled under the covers, staring at her baby. Paige smiled as she slowly stood up.
"Could you close the curtains around the bed please?" Chloe asked softly.
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Chloe bolted awake, trying to adjust to the bright light of her surroundings as she figured out where she was. Her heart pounded against her chest, the intense fear that she'd been feeling suddenly coming flooding back as her eyes locked on her baby girl, resting quietly in her bassinet.
"Sorry I had to wake you, but I need to check you over." Paige said softly. Chloe nodded slowly, gasping in pain as she tentatively sat up.
"Is it normal to be this sore?" she asked nervously.
"Unfortunately yes. It'll pass in a few days though." Paige reassured her, quickly checking her vitals. As soon as Paige was finished, Chloe quickly leaned over and picked Freyja up, cradling her gently in her arms, longing to hold her baby close.
"I think she's hungry." Paige pointed out, watching closely as Freyja began to fidget.
"Are you planning to bottle or breast feed?" she asked.
"I'm hoping to breast feed." Chloe answered.
"Okay." Paige told her, quickly picking up a pillow from the bed.
"We'll put this underneath her and then you can place her onto it." she explained, watching Chloe closely as she carefully did as she asked. Chloe's cheeks coloured as she slowly unbuttoned her blouse, trying to ignore the embarrassment that she was feeling at the thought of being so exposed. Paige watched her closely, shooting her a small sympathetic smile as she carefully unclasped her bra, glancing at Paige as she helped her to remove it.
"Now you need to turn her so that she is facing you." Paige explained, gently placing her hand on Chloe's arm and guiding her so that her arm was behind Freyja, supporting her weight.
"Offer her your breast and see what she does." she continued, watching closely as she sat beside Chloe on the bed.
"She's not taking it." Chloe said, a note of panic in her voice as she continued trying to do what Paige had instructed her.
"It's okay, don't worry. Sometimes it can take a little while for mother and baby to get the hang of breast feeding." Paige told her, gently squeezing Chloe's hand in reassurance when she noticed that her eyes were filling with tears.
"Something you can try, is to stroke your nipple down her face." Paige suggested.
"Why?" Chloe asked, frowning in confusion.
"Because quite often they instinctively open their mouth when you do it." she explained. Chloe nodded slowly, carefully doing what Paige suggested. She gasped to herself when Freyja opened her mouth, quickly placing her nipple inside her mouth. Freyja hesitated for a moment, gazing up at Chloe before gently suckling.
"There you go." Paige said quietly, smiling proudly at Chloe.
"I did it." Chloe whispered, a small sob escaping her lips as she watched her baby feeding.
"I knew you could." Paige smiled.
"She won't need very much for the first couple of days." she continued, quickly reassuring Chloe when Freyja stopped feeding. Chloe nodded slowly, carefully picking Freyja up and holding her against her chest. She smiled to herself as she rested her head against Freyja's, cherishing every moment with her baby.
