With Your Heart Wide Open

Show Time

Esther rang the doorbell when no one responded to her knock. She shared a worried glance with Aaliyah, who was still wearing her school uniform.
They'd been on their way home when Esther had received a text message from her dad saying that there was an emergency.

After what felt like forever, her dad opened the door.

She rushed in because it was chilly outside, and she was eager to see her dad.

Once she got in, her eyes encountered the cold stare of her mother. She gasped and turned to her dad as if to ask for some explanation. His head was down.

"Mrs. Marcelin?" Aaliyah asked

"You know who that is?" Esther asked her.

"She was the guest this morning. She told us about bullying."

Esther turned to her dad again. "Papa, you texted me. You told me that it was urgent. What is it? Are you okay?"

"I didn't text you," he confessed.

"I did," her mom finally spoke.

Both Aaliyah and Esther turned in her direction.

"I could have come talk to you in this degrading job that you have or even in the streets. But I felt the need to have you here. Right here in this very living-room,"

Esther was shocked. She hasn't been in the same room as her for seven years. And now, just seeing her, looking older, colder, and more imposing, brought up all the painful memories that she's tried so hard to repress.

"Do you remember this room, Esther?" Dinah Marcelin asked.

Esther didn't reply. She couldn't. It was hard to face, but she felt like a little girl again at this very moment. The younger version of her who has always tried to be on her mom's good side was not even the teenager who got kicked out. She felt like the little girl who shivered before voicing her opinions, who nodded vividly as her mom gossiped. She felt like the little girl who tried to convince herself that she somewhat deserved this treatment. So then, the pain will have some meaning.

"I have thrown you out of this room like the scum that you were! And guess what? The years that you've been gone have been the best years of my life. And now, after throwing yourself at everything that moves, you have the... you have the nerve to show your face here!!"

"I..." She started, but it couldn't come out.

"On top of that, instead of locking yourself behind four walls, you bring yourself everywhere, with no shame, to humiliate me! I disowned you once, and I'll do it all over again. You better pack your bag tonight and leave with this little bastard of yours!"

Esther would have just kept quiet or left at this point, but something forbid her. She felt a weak squeeze in her hand.

It was Aaliyah.

Her daughter had a strong squeeze, a loud voice, and a bold attitude. She laughed at scary movies knowing that they were just a bunch of special effects and makeup, she put ice on her own bruises, and she helps bullies make fun of her and laughed at their confused looks.

She was strong, but she looked like she was about to break down or explode at this moment. Esther felt her small hand tremble in hers.

Normally Esther would have seen that as a test for her daughter. After all, she's been preparing her for moments like that every day. People might disagree, but that explained her strict parental approach. Yes, she was hard on her because life was hard. Not even hard; life was ugly and blurry and bloody!

Aaliyah started to agitate next to her, and something in Esther snapped. Indeed, she tried to prepare her daughter for normal crisis. But that was not normal! Somehow, she felt like, after this day, her daughter would be as broken as her.

"I have no intention to leave Red Valley," Esther said. Her voice sounded different. Hoarse. Shaky. Weak. Damn it!

"I kicked you out, remember?"

"No, you didn't. I left on my own,"

Dinah snorted, "Wow! You've learned to talk back now!"

"I don't want to cause any trouble. I'm just trying to live my life,"

"Which life? In a dirty house? A cashier for your whole life? On your own with a kid?"

"Actually, I am the assistant manager. I'm raising my kid just fine, and I have friends. Good friends to help out when things fall short. Your life is not that much better,"

Dinah Marcelin didn't like it when people talk back to her, "Well, let me tell you something. You can become a CEO, you can even get a man to pick up what's left of you, but you will always be the little whore that I kicked out. And the little thing that came out of you..."

"Dinah!" Richard finally snapped.

As usual, she ignored him, but Esther replied, "You know what, Mother? Maybe I'm a... whatever you just called me. But you're no better,"

"I'm no better?"

Esther's tone was calm now. "Uh-huh... As you like to claim, you had to buy a man with a green card to stay with you because no one else would. And, I wonder if you never get tired of putting people down because you know how pathetic you really are without all your church titles and the so-called friends who are only here for the gossip club,"

Richard cut in again, "Child, you can't talk to your mom like that!"

"Papa, please! I thought I was mad at her all these years, but I was actually mad at you!"

He was taken aback, "Mad at me for what?"

"I know her. That's just who she is. But you! But you, I actually expected something from you. You were the one telling me that you loved me and that I was special, but you never stood  up to her,"

He tried to explain, "She's your mom..."

Esther ignored him, "And I spent all my life in constant fear. Yes, I never understood while I was so scared. Now I realized that I was scared because you were!"

"That's nonsense,"

"I'm sorry, Papa. But sometimes... I just hate you as much as I hate her,"

Leaving these words for them to digest, Esther grabbed Aaliyah's hand and headed out.

Her mom was still insulting, but she no longer cared. Before closing the door, she turned and saw her dad.

He looked broken.

It wasn't until she reached the house that she realized that Aaliyah was sobbing.

Normally, she would have tried to make her stop. But this time, she let her spill everything out. It was too much pain for one day.

She was wrong, though.