With Your Heart Wide Open

Esther?!

Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, by Maya Angelou

Esther sat with Liyah's head on her lap. She was flat twisting the front of her daughter's hair. Liyah wore a contented smile on her small rosy lips. When Esther followed the child's gaze, it fell on Jeremy seating on the carpet while reading to Liyah. 

Jeremy.

Once he set his feet inside of the house, Esther felt another vibe. She could smell a new fragrance in the air and it was not the minty cologne that Jeremy always applied excessively. It was like a smell that her brain did not register, but that her heart could rely on. It was the smell of home. Where was home? At Red Valley? Esther shivered at the very thought. She didn't know yet, or she was done looking for it, but at this moment, Esther felt an alien peace washing over her.

"So, tell me. What are you doing here?" Esther finally asked the question that Liyah's excitement has delayed. 

Jeremy closed the book and smiled at Liyah dozing off on her mother's lap. 

He then replied, "At the last minute, they told me that there was another opening. It is located fifteen minutes from here. I jumped on the occasion."

"So, where do you live?"

"Red Valley. A few blocks away from you," he announced.

"Why didn't you stay at the other place?"

"Red Valley's housing is much cheaper, of course. Also, it will be easier for me to visit my grandparents and my fiancee."

Esther frowned, "I can't believe that you were there all this time and didn't tell me!"

He laughed, "The look on your faces was priceless when I came here."

Liyah woke up at Jeremy's chuckles. 

"You're really here. I thought I was dreaming."

Jeremy reached out to ruffle her hair when Esther swatted his hand away before pointing out that she just did Liyah's hair and didn't want him to mess it up so early.

"Anyway," Jeremy said, "Would you like to go out for dinner?"

"Out. Like a restaurant?" Esther asked.

"No. Out like the backyard." Jeremy joked.

Liyah grinned from ear to ear, "I want to go to a restaurant!"

"You don't get to decide," Esther reminded her daughter.

She then turned to Jeremy and said," I like the offer but I'd rather order a pizza. After all, Aaliyah's tired from the trip."

"I'm not tired!" Liyah quickly added.

"No one asked you!" Esther answered just as quickly.

Jeremy raised his hands in surrender, "Alright. Alright. We can order something, but I think that it would be nice to see more of this place."

"Too bad no one couldn't care less about your thoughts," Esther said with a tone that didn't invite further discussion, although she was smiling this time.

After a dinner of cheese pizza and chicken wings, Jeremy waited until Liyah fell asleep to go home, ignoring Esther's disapproval. 

Before he went, Esther stopped him and said, "It's nice to see a friendly face here."

He smiled, "Esther, you seem to be doing good. I'm so happy to see that."

He then left without further words.

Esther dreamed of the nightmare that night. It was more vivid, scarier this time. She could clearly see her seventeen-year-old self, wearing nothing but pajamas under her hoodie, with only a scarf to protect her hair from the drizzle. She felt the same sting when the broken glass pierced through her flesh. The fear that seized her that night came washing over her once more.  When the man appeared, his hungry eyes scanning her small frame in one glance, she woke up. Aaliyah was snoring softly beside her. She gently caressed her small face.

Losing all hope of drifting back to sleep, she sat up and took a piece of paper. She wrote down a list of names:

- Ma Elsie

- Papa

- Stephen

- Dinah Marcelin

She whispered the names in the dark. Slowly. One after another. Her tongue getting more bitter with each one. Memories flooded her mind. Now that she was at Red Valley, these were the people she wanted or at least was curious to see. Again.

The next day went in a blur. Esther had to help with the opening of the new store. As an assistant manager, her busy day was filled with interviews, stocking of merchandise, and training of cashiers. She also had to spend some time on the cash register since many customers came by, curious to see the new store.

It was almost time for her to clock out when one of the cashiers called her to the front.

"I forgot to tell you, there was a man who wanted to place an order for fifty balloons. He's outside now," the cashier informed Esther.

After giving her a reproaching glance, Esther quickly stepped outside. They were understaffed and balloon orders would take a while.

The man was talking on the phone, his back facing her.

Once he was done, he turned to face her.

"Sir, I apologize..." Esther started.

She stopped mid-sentence when she saw the familiar chiseled jawline. She was not surprised to see him. After all, it was a busy day and Red Valley was small enough. Still, her heart drummed against her chest.

Time seemed to stop when their eyes met. In fact, time took a step back leading both of them in a rush of memories where Esther was a "wallflower teen" and him, the boy with the golden smile.

Esther had to admit that her daughter was right while she stared in his eyes. Aaliyah did have the same eyes as her father.

"Esther?!" He said. It sounded like a question, but it was actually a statement.

"Stephen," she uttered above a whisper.