With Your Heart Wide Open

Tell Me About Love

"Liyah, stop running. You know I'll get to you," Jeremy said, trying to keep up with the child.

She ignored him and kept running. As she neared the lake, she tripped over a baseball bat left on the floor. Jeremy rushed to her side and took her in his arms to settle her on the bench.

They sat in silence, then Jeremy asked, "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"You don't even care!"

Jeremy got closer, "Baby girl. Talk to me. I'm your best friend, remember that? We made a pinkie promise,"

"I want another best friend,"

"Good luck finding a new best friend who can give you back rides, write stories to tell you, let you taste his coffee-flavored ice cream, and definitely help you prank your mom on April first,"

"I still don't want you,"

"Why?"

"You're just like everyone else!"

"How?"

She took a moment before blurting out, "You leave,"

"I'm not leaving,"

"You said it yourself. You're getting married,"

"Come on, Sweetie. That doesn't mean I'm leaving,"

"Yes, it is," she started crying, "You're gonna get married and have kids. You're gonna forget about me,"

"How could you ever think that? I love you, kiddo,"

"Yeah? Tell me about love then. If you love me, stay with me,"

Jeremy held her chin to make her look up, "Even when you don't see me, I am here for you,"

She moved her head away, "You're not God,"

They stay in silence for a while. She was staring at the ducks diving their heads into the shallow part of the lake while Jeremy stared at her. 

Has he made the same mistake again? He has volunteered in orphanages and mentorship programs. Of course, he did his work well and charmed everyone. However, he had only one fault. It was the same every time, at every place: he always got too attached. Aaliyah was not a project, not his way to get community service hours; however, he knew that he would hurt her one day from the first time he held her as a toddler.

He shook his head. Yes, he'd hurt her, but the relationship was worth it. He taught her how to ride a bike. She tattooed hearts on his arm with a red pen whenever he was moody. He'd braid her hair in cornrows on Friday nights when Esther had to stay extra hours at work. She'd quiz him using his flashcards before his Biology exams. He helped her name her Barbie dolls. They'd read superhero comic books together. They'd listen to the latest afrobeat loud enough to have Esther yell above the noise. 

He didn't know what he was to her. A friend? A super invested babysitter? A father figure? He was sure of one thing, though; they wouldn't lose whatever they had.

He cleared his throat, "Kiddo, I'm gonna be real with you. I can't promise you to always be in the same place as you. It's out of my reach. Maybe one day I'll go to jail, or I'll find a job in another country, or even go to Heaven before you. Right now, I need to get married. It means that I'm not going to be as available as I used to be. But, being married means that I will be a little happier and you should be happy too because you love me. I know you do. I just told you about love. It is more than we can understand, but part of it means to be happy for the other person no matter what,"

Aaliyah turned to him, "Do you love her more than you love me?"

"No, but I love you in special ways because you are both special to me," he answered as he dropped a kiss on her head.