With Your Heart Wide Open

Family time

After sending the text message to Jeremy, Esther sat and waited for a response. She hoped that he would at least ask her how Aaliyah was doing but nothing came. Her early visit to Ma Elsie had given her some strength.
She put her phone down as Aaliyah barged into the room. The child was wearing a floral dress and a matching faux pearl hairband. She twirled in front of the mirror.

"Mommy, can I please wear that?"

"Yes. This will have to do. Your dad will be here any minute anyway,"

"Yes! I can't wait!"

"Do you remember the rules?"

"Don't ask him questions about his life. Don't tell him about our life. Don't ask him for things. Be polite,"

"Now, finish your food,"

As Aaliyah was devouring her spaghetti, Esther was watching her. Not with reproach for the mess she made on the table. She was looking at her daughter to break through her. To get a glimpse of her emotions. She seemed so happy to finally meet her father!
In fact, she was always cheery no matter what they were going through. Esther wondered if it was a child or just an Aaliyah thing.

She'd call her a burden and at the time she meant it. Because of Aaliyah, she didn't get to finish school, find a decent job or get a romantic relationship.

Esther was applying hair gel on Aaliyah's edges when Stephen came.

"I'm sorry if I'm a little late, I was taking care of the church," he said.

"It's alright," Esther whispered.

She suddenly felt self-conscious in front of Stephen. Even with dark shadows under his eyes and a tired smile, he had the same effect on her.

"You must be my little girl," he said as the child stood in a corner.

She came forward and their eyes met. 

At first glance, Aaliyah was disappointed. Once her mother confessed that her dad was alive, she's been picturing a man with a hearty laugh, joyful eyes with a glint of mischief, and a goofy Jeremy-like smile. She dreamed of endless back rides, late-night ice cream, and jumping on poodles with leather boots on.

It was hard to picture this man smiling with a stain on his white shirt and some dirt on his trousers. She also dreamed of running to his arms after being yelled at, sitting late to get help with her homework, and begging him to do her chores knowing that the answer would always be yes. Maybe he would be good at those.

She talked with composure, "I'm Aaliyah,"

"Oh, I know," he said.

When he smiled, all of the doubt growing in her juvenile vanished. His smile was like a reminder that the world was full of hope. He smiled at her as if she was the only one in the room.

"What would you like to do today?" His question surprised and pleased her. Neither her mom nor Uncle Jeremy would ask her that. They always have something to propose, but her dad gave her the choice. It felt good.

"Can we go to the zoo? Or a taco place?"

"We can do both. I know a nice aquarium that you'll probably like. It's a little far, but we'll manage. We could always get tacos for lunch afterwards."

Esther slipped into the conversation, "Is the aquarium very far? I have to be home before dusk,"

Stephen seemed startled by her question, "Huh... What do you mean?"

When Esther saw the confusion in his eyes, she understood,

"You're only going with Aaliyah?" She asked as she felt her ship sinking.

"I... I'm sorry for the misunderstanding... I just... If I want to bond with Aaliyah, I think it should be only the two of us,"

"No problem at all! You guys have fun!" Esther said with an excitement that sound fake even to her ears.

"I don't want you to feel excluded,"

"Nope! I'm completely fine. I have a lot to do anyway," Esther said and it took all of her strength to keep her voice from breaking.

"Then, we better get going, kiddo," Stephen said to Aaliyah.

Before following her father, Aaliyah went to hug her mom.

"Don't be sad, Mommy. You can come with us next time,"

"I'm not sad," Esther grumbled as she awkwardly pat Aaliyah's back.

"Yes you are!" 

"Aaliyah! Don't start..." She said as she gave her a look that carried everything she didn't want to say out loud.

She then turned to Stephen, "Make sure you hold her hands when you're out of the car. Give her juice or smoothie instead of soda and make sure that her food is lukewarm before she eats,"

Stephen chuckled despite himself, "Anything else?"

"When she asks you to take pictures of her, tell her a joke. She wants her memories to be as genuine as possible,"

"Yes, ma'am," he responded before taking Aaliyah's hand to head outside.

As he stepped outside, Esther called him back. He turned around expecting to hear another parental advice.

"Steph, we need to talk. Just me and you. We need to,"

He was not sure how to respond so he didn't. He waved at her and before she knew it, he was gone.

Through the window, Esther watched his car driving away. Her heart sinking.

She dropped her weight on the sofa with a sigh. It was her free day and she'd been looking forward to a day out and some harmless fun. Most of all, she'd been looking forward to Stephen.

When she got up, she undid her hair and stepped into the shower to wash it. As the cold water was running on her scalp, she was dreaming of a life with Stephen. If she hadn't left, maybe they would be married. She would get to finish college and would start a medical-related career or a writing-related one. Aaliyah would have a normal life with possible siblings. They would go on date nights and road trips. On top of all, she would feel loved, wanted, and safe. She would belong.

When she got out of the shower, she checked her phone, still hoping to hear from Jeremy. She got more than she expected when instead she found two missed calls from Stephen. Her heart leapt. Did he change his mind and finally felt the need to be with her?

She quickly dialed his number but then she heard him knocking on the door. She ran to open for him. In her rush, she forgot that she only had a bathrobe on and that her hair was all wet.

A small wave of disappointment hit her when she saw Jeremy. Worry was written all over his face.

"Where's Aaliyah?" he asked.