When I heard those words from him, parang tumigil ang mundo ko. Naubos na siguro ang luha ko kaya wala nang lumabas sa mga mata ko. There were many questions popped into my head. One of those is, ‘bakit kailangan humantong ‘to sa ganito?’
“Rex bakit? Bakit kailangan pa natin magdivorce?!”
“It’s because ito ang tama. She’s dying. She needs me.”
“THEN WHAT ABOUT ME?!”
He shook his head. “You.. me.. it’s over.”
“So.. this means, you chose her over me?”
He sighed. “I dunno. Maybe. But Marriane,” He faced me. “Ayokong pairalin ang puso ko ngayon. At tsaka, siguro, hanggang dun lang tayo. Hindi ko kayang iwan sya sa laban nya ngayon. She’s alone. Kailangan nya ko.”
“Kai… kailangan din kita… What about this?” I asked as I raised our hands with our wedding rings. He suddenly wore off his ring and gave it to me. “Hindi ko pala kaya. Sorry talaga.”
*Flashback*
“Baso lang pala.” He said as we saw the broken glass at the floor. “Pero, pano naman nahulog nun? Hindi kaya… may multo rito?” I asked, puzzled.
“Ano ka ba? Blessed ‘tong bahay na ‘to, pwede ba? Una palang sinabi na sain ni papa na walang multo rito.”
Teka… may meaning kaya ‘to?
---
Basta, susundin ko na lang si Rex, no matter what.
*End of Flashback*
Bigla na lang ako bumitaw. Susundin ko sya. Sabi ko yun sa sarili ko na susundin ko sya. But what about this feeling?
“Pero…” He started as I suddenly looked at him. Bigla nya kong niyakap at napaiyak. “…it doesn’t mean na talagang bumitaw na ako. Babalikan kita, kapag wala nang pader na nakaharang.”
I sighed. “Hindi ko alam…” I looked straightly in his eyes. “..kung kaya kitang intayin. Hindi mo kaya diba? Pwes, hindi ko rin kaya.”
With that, I left him standing there while I was walking out of the room, tears rolling through my cheeks.
***
Letting go is never been easier for me. It’s been a week since we annulled our marriage. Marami nga ang nagulat eh. Sina Lawrence lang ang hindi pa nakakaalam. Ewan ko kung bakit defensive sina mamu at Mr. Lopez. Is there something between them?
That’s when I knew it, until that day came.
I just saw them. Mamu, Mr. Lopez. Hugging each other. With closed eyes efek.
“Ma…mu? Anong --”
They released themselves easily. “Marriane, mali ka nga iniisip.”
“Ma, mag-usap nga tayo.” Hinila ko si Mamu sa sala at pinaupo ko sya. “Ano yun?” I started.
“Anak, we’re just hugging each other as --”
“As what? Mamu, tell me. ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HIM?!”
Hindi makapagsalita si mamu.
“I MEAN, THE WHOLE TIME? SA SIMULA PALANG?!”
“Anak --”
“WHY DIDN”T YOU TELL ME?! BAKIT KAILANGAN PA KAMING MADAMAY NI REX?!”
*plak*
She just slapped me. “I’m really sorry.” She shook her head. I know kung bakit nya ko sinampal. “Kung di kami nadamay dito, di sana, teenager pa rin ang utak ko.” Di sana… hindi ako nasaktan ng husto.
Wala na syang nagawa kundi yakapin ako.
Ayun, sinabihan ko si Mr. Lopez na layuan si mamu. Inaalala ko lang naman si papu. Ayokong balewalain ni mamu yung sa kanila ni papu. Kami ang masasaktan ng kapatid ko pag nangyari yun. I mean, hindi naman sa pinagkakait ko yung gusto ni mamu. Gusto ko pa rin ng buo ang pamilya namin without papu.
Nabalitaan ko na lang kay Russel na inooperahan na raw si Candy ngayon sa states kasama sya. Tanggap ko na... na hindi sya babalik pa. I just let him go. Hindi naman sya nagpromise sakin diba? At tsaka, pag gumaling na si Candy, hindi rin naman sya babalik sakin eh. She won’t going to surrender him to me naman diba? After all, she still loves him.
At the fact that we’re not married anymore.
Madali ko na lang siguro makakalimutan ang lahat ng ito. Makakalimutan ko na yung krimen na ginawa ko noon, na kinasal pala ako noon, at yung feelings ko para sa kanya na naramdaman ko noon.
Madali na siguro kalimutan ang lahat para sakin, diba?
