Reviews with a Flare

Fake Me To Church

Author: @BlueJay325

Read: prologue, chapters 1-3, flashback chapter, chapter 4

Grammar.
You did an excellent job polishing up this work. My opinion has always been that if a reader doesn't notice your grammar, then you're doing well. Punctuation was on point.

Paragraphs.
All of your paragraphs had one concise purpose and executed it well. The dialogue was meaningful and drove the plot forward. Your writing flows well. Organization from every level of paragraphs to the purpose of chapters.

I love how you have chapters set aside to flashbacks. This technique works well and should probably be used more often. Since flashbacks are their own story line, it makes sense to give them their own set of renamed chapters.

Characterization.
Oh, how you provided! There's cliches that work in your favor, diversity, and overall well-rounded characters.

Steven made me cringe! He's definitely one of the types of cliches we all grew up with in high school. Gross. I know I did. You took it a step further and reigned in his dark side to fit the plot and setting. I'm looking forward to a really dramatic character arc. I can already see from the way you've set this up that we're in for a wild change.

Ahmed works well as a foil character for Steven. All of the good in Ahmed brings out all of the bad in Steven. Ahmed is likeable. This puts Steven's role in the school at stake. You've set them up for a grand popularity contest.

Although there are quite a few main players in the plot, you introduce them each equally. We've learned about several different backstories already. Each chapter slowly builds upon the foundation that we've learned about the characters. Even for your smaller roles, the characters have depth to their personalities.

My only suggestion would be on character flaws. Steven has a lot of character flaws, but he'll need some redeeming characteristics mixed in before his change. This makes him human and not just some evil character the readers don't like. On the opposite hand, Ahmed needs some character flaws and so do some of the other big players. As the saying goes, "sometimes you're the villain in someone else's story." Our favorite characters can't be too good or they're not believable.

Style.
Your word choice, sentences, and technique make this book feel professional. It's a smooth read. I've read quite a few comments from your readers about how they love your descriptions. Your style really shines through in scene descriptions, especially when the group finds the body.

The mood definitely feels mysterious. I think the setting and it's history contribute greatly to the mood. Readers wouldn't imagine such a meticulously planned out murder scene occurring at your average high school. Private schools always seem to have more to hide.

Plot.
I love the centralized setting. From what I've read so far, the setting has only changed once. I almost want a map of the school to see if there's any more hidden tunnels. Every reader is going to appreciate getting to know this setting intimately with the characters.

The conflict grows steadily with each chapter. Instead of jumping from one conflict to another, I appreciate that you build upon one or two conflicts. This technique builds tension and avoids confusing readers about what they're supposed to be looking for.

Overall, I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I didn't know how I'd feel about the religious aspect since I don't partake. However, your writing ensures no one feels left out for a lack of knowledge on the subject. On top of your detailed planning for the book's elements, your technique adds a whole new level of professionalism to your work.