Reviews with a Flare

From My Glasses' Point of View

Author: @sofeequinto

Read: chapters 1-5

Before I start let me just say, the book cover is so cute! It really encapsulates your writing style and tone. I imagine it brings in a lot of readers. Bright and colorful covers always draw me in.

Grammar.
I didn't see a lot of problems in grammar. Nothing distracted from the reading.

There is one instance in a chapter where you switch tenses. Most of the book is written in present tense. When Lake and Maverick go into the store, you switched to past tense then tied it up with "which now brings us to present moment." I would just make the whole paragraph present tense to avoid the awkward switch back and forth.

Paragraphs.
Your paragraphs are formatted well and readable. I love the dialogue. The format for texts is clever. It stands out well amongst the action and dialogue, but doesn't distract too much.

I have one suggestion on the paragraphs. You might benefit from some longer paragraphs explaining action or setting. A majority of the paragraphs are relatively short. It's an easy and quick read. However, the reader might not be visualizing things correctly if too many things are left out of your writing.

Characterization.
I wasn't expecting how strong Lake was going to be as a character. I'm grateful she isn't the classic cliche. It's almost like she knows she's a cliche too? And she deviates from it on purpose? I really love her as a character. The humor is on point.

Maverick is kind of flat as a character. His redeeming quality is that he owns the fact that he's a cliche. His softer side came on a bit strong and fast. I'm also unsure whether you're serious about him being bipolar. I couldn't tell whether it was a joke or not. If so, I hope you have experience or knowledge about bipolar disorder. It's not easy to represent and most depictions in media are inaccurate.

Style.
I love your style when you're writing Lake's point of view. The tone is sarcastic and witty throughout! I think the mood would be lighthearted and fun.

Plot.
In the paragraphs section, I mentioned how readers need more information for the setting. Usually, my writing is pretty vague for the setting as well. However, I do incorporate little elements of the setting during the dialogue or the action. For instance, when Lake is at her lockers you could mention the school colors are what they painted the lockers. She could even complain about how small her locker is because the hallways are small or even the opposite. This helps the reader get a feel for the space without having the entire setting description shoved down their throat.

The conflict was exciting and spicy for the first two chapters. After Lake agreed to the date so easily, I feel like the conflict ended abruptly. There was so much apprehension leading up to him asking her that it seemed anti-climatic when she agreed. Since she has a burn book on him, it might make more sense for her to turn him down for a week, realize he won't give up, and devise a plan with her best friend to take him down.

Overall, I loved the humor. I feel like I need to go back and write down those comebacks that Lake had for Maverick. There's minor issues, but they don't detract from the reading too much. I think it's awesome that this was a book you started for fun and it ended up so well received!