Reviews with a Flare

His Hand in the Shadows

Author: @thatzher

Read: chapters 1-5

Grammar.
There were very few mistakes that I recall. The grammar issues never distracted from the reading. However, it was difficult to distinguish between spoken words and thoughts. Whenever Ayla thinks something, use italics instead of quotations.

Ex.
"What do you mean?" Ayla asks. He's a noble. Nobles never care about commoners.

Paragraphs.
You have beautiful writing through and through. Everything has a purpose and place in the story. The pace is perfect for a slow build up to a grand conclusion. Readers will appreciate getting to know the world before being thrown into any major conflict. There's so many elements going that it seems like too much to juggle, but you do an excellent job.

My favorite element is your dialogue. Not only is the dialogue readable, but it's unique in execution. The amount of world-building and planning you did to achieve this is incredible. You almost don't need to distinguish nobles from commoners because the conversations do it for you. There's etiquette and rules to conversation in the world, which brings the story into a whole new level of reality for the reader.

Characterization.
I connected on a deep level with Ayla. She's complex and independent from the other characters. She has a job, passions, and struggles. Her conflicts are complex and relatable, especially for someone who's been in college before. Not only is she relatable as a student, but as someone oppressed by the government. Her situation is reminiscent of what's going on in the United States right now. It's relatable because a lot of citizens are in her position. Not a lot of people are part of the 1%.

Zayd is the reader's insight to that 1%. After becoming invested in Ayla's struggle, he's introduced at the perfect time. He's oblivious and sheltered, but worse was how he hadn't bothered to educate himself. In their relationship, Ayla and Zayd follow the pattern of frustration that the reader goes through with his sightlessness. It's a beautiful dance, especially since the subtleties of Zayd's infatuation never go unnoticed by the reader.

Style.
Your style is distinguished and consistent throughout. The language is reminiscent of classic representations of the medieval period. I love how the tone between Ayla and other characters moves from formal to informal as they get to know one another. The mood stays consistent throughout with its foreboding presence of impending danger. Although Ayla puts on a strong front, as readers, we know her fate is doomed as a commoner.

Plot.
Choosing a college as the setting is perfect to help the readers learn about the world you've created. Not only are we learning about the different types of magic but also the techniques Ayla will use in the future. College is a place where people often discover themselves, so it's the prime time of character development.

Conflicts in school are always outrageous. If I wasn't able to attend my classes because of some rumors, I think I'd go insane. Ayla's conflict against the accusation is so complex that I felt the stress when she was sitting in the office with her sponsor. Add on top of that her lack of funds and resources, it's just a recipe for disaster that's insanely relatable!

Overall, I highly recommend this book. I know the review is a bit on the short side, but there's not a lot of critiques I had for it! There's some fine-tune editing and a change in the way thoughts are written, but that's all. I really enjoyed this read and will be returning to it.