Reviews with a Flare

Folium

Author: @airisecily

Read: chapters 1-3

Grammar.
There were quite a few problems in this section. Most of the problems occurred with dialogue. When you include a dialogue tag, the sentence inside the quotations should end with a comma. The dialogue tag should not be capitalized.

"Like this," the reviewer stated.

You also have a few other punctuation issues when it comes to run on sentences. This made it really hard to understand some of the action. When the sentences don't have a break, everything can get very muddled. I would suggest refreshing yourself on the use of commas. I avoided commas for the longest time because I didn't understand them. However, commas can become your best friend in writing. Your readers want to know when to take a pause.

Paragraphs.
I think you really excel at paragraphs. Everything is organized. There's various lengths of paragraphs. The action is shorter, descriptions longer. This was such an enjoyable read for me because of your paragraphs.

Characterization.
I absolutely love how the names have to do with different types of plants. It's similar to how people used to name their children in honor of their gods. Since everyone attributes life to plants, it would make sense that they're going to bless their kids with names of plants. Vera's is my favorite.

I wish there were more chapters to read so I can get to know these characters better. Vera's condition where she doesn't feel pain is such a odd but neat touch to her character. After she was shot, I can tell that this condition is going to play a pivotal role in the future. I really want to know more on how she feels about society and having to put her life in the hands of a plant.

The same thing goes for Dan. I feel like we all have a friend Dan. He's a nervous ball of energy and something bad is always happening to him. I think I'm dating a Dan...

Style.
I enjoyed your writing style. Vera sounds like she has a lot of speculations about the government. I hope that you include more of that in future chapters. Your word choice is very advanced and represents the society well.

Plot.
When it comes to the setting, I really want to live in this future you've created. In just three chapters, I'm convinced this could be our reality one day. Global warming has become a big topic in recent years. Sustainability is something consumers look for in brands. It makes sense that the government would need to step in once things became too serious to ignore.

The way you've set up your society allows readers to accept everything you put to paper. Plants become more than just a household decoration. Botanists rise to the importance of doctors. Due to gas emission, cars are eliminated. This suspends the reader's disbelief to the point we're accept the characters receive knowledge through their QID!

Despite my love for the society, one never knows how the characters might feel about it. I expected the conflict to follow a typical dystopian novel where the main character destroys an oppressive government. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the conflict will be unique and mysterious. Although I'm not sure what the conflict is yet, I'm intrigued because I've been given just enough details to keep me interested.