harry potter ships + stories

tom riddle x reader

ok so im writing this for a friend don't ask who it is you horny nasty nosy bitch

you were in class. history of magic was so boring. you started out the window as you heard professor binns drone about goblin wars or some bullshit that you couldn't give two fucks about. anyway, lunch was next and then you had a free period. you glanced behind you, and saw some ugly gryffindor kid sticking his bony finger all the way up his nose. you gagged and just then you saw the hottest ass little shit you'd ever seen. he had black hair and dark dark eyes. you thought he was hot. he stared back at you. you remembered his name was tom riddle, but he always skipped class cuz he was a bad bitch, which is why you rarely saw him. he glared at you and muttered something about you being a mudblood. you flipped him off and then went to the great hall for an early lunch. you were eating some WAP toast when all of the sudden the tom sat next to you. "sup mudblood".
"um what the fuck are you doing at the hufflepuff table whore" you asked. "i think you are a hot bad bitch. meet me in the chamber of secrets at 3AM" well THAT made you h0rnee. you never even realized how hot that ugly ass bitch was. he twerked and then walked like a baddie to the slytherin table. the girl sitting across from you for some reason pissed her pants. you flipped her off. just then professor dippet yelled at everyone to get their horny asses out of the great hall. he was PISSED. so you ran out. the piss girl came up to you when you were doing transfiguration homework for professor horny dumbledore. "hey bad bitch" she said. "heard you are going to see tom tonight" you fucking got so pissed 😤. so you shoved a rotten deviled egg down her throat. you had seen horny dumbledore swallow rotten deviled eggs and you had stollen some from him for situations like annoying piss horny girls. later that night you couldn't sleep because you kept thinking about annoying hoe hot tom. then 3AM struck and dumbledore teleported in the corner and he looked like momo on purpose so you were forced to leave. you didn't know where the chamber of secrets was. you closed your eyes and imagined a snake and tom riddle. together playing fun games and having a sleepover. when tom started painting the snake's nonexistent toenails, you got pissed and jealous so you screamed "HORNY" and your hoe ass was going down a dark slide suddenly. you screamed HORNY all the way down the slide. when you reached the bottom you saw tom standing in front of a giant statue of a horny man. "that's my hot relative, salazar. i call him sally for short." you heard a hot familiar voice say from the corner. you knew it was tommy. he was at the very end sitting on a basilisk. it's eyes were covered in duct tape that had cartoon smileys saying "annihilate mudbloods". "i did that so you wouldn't get petrified",said tom. "thanks bitch". "the tape is just super cute and quirky, it makes me horny", said tom, hornily. then you looked up at him. he had shimmering pink acrylic nails on his finger and toenails and he was nude except for his underwear which has his entire face spread out on it. welp you were so horny that you both starting kissing. all the sudden you had s3gggzzzzxxxxxcxx and the basilisk got horny and got married to dumbledaddy. then you and tom lived happily hornily after.