harry potter ships + stories

the idiot (18+)

another story 🥸
if u want to make a request u can but nobody reads these lol

anywayzzzz

one day dumbledore was in a bad mood because he smashed his tv and broke it. he was pissed because naruto ended. then he sat on his couch and farted and shat for the next few days. then one day  hagrid came into his room and said there was gonna be another effing student at hogwarts. they were knew and coming in the middle of the year. dumbledore brightened a little but was still kinda pissed about naruto. then hagrid said he found this out because the parents loved hagrid and hated dumbledore and that's why they didn't tell dumbledore. dumbledore flipped hagrid off. then hagrid said that the student was a girl who was very smart. dumbledore said " g e t  o u t  h o e". hagrid left and shat in the doorway for good measure. then at this point dumbledore was fuming. later in the day dumbledore decided to announce that there would be a new student. so he went up to the podium and then screamed really high pitched to get everyone's attention. flitwick was pissedly eating a breadstick. anyway dumbledore screamed and all the students looked at him. "t h e r e  w i l l  be  a  n e w  s t u d e n t  h o e s." just then a girl with blonde hair came in. hermione was pissed as hell because her hair was that color before it got shat on. anywayzzz she had to get sorted into her dumbass house. she was a stupid ass ravenclaw. (this is the last thing i will say but i love ravenclaws lol except cho she's irritating anyway)right there and then dumbledore knew hagrid was right when he said the girl is smart. "w h a t' s  y o u r  n a m e  b i t c h" said dumbledore to the girl. "it's saltine you bitchass hoe" she said.

THE NEXT DAY:
saltine woke up in her bed. she was pretty much was the bad bitchass hoe everyone wanted to be. stupid dumbass cho was jealous af. anywayz saltine had charms and that was her favorite goddamn subject. on the way there luna asked if she could be friends with saltine. pissed, saltine said, "no you think you're quirky and i am a bad bee-otch" luna ran away. (sorry luna love u 🥺)when she got to charms professor flitwick was PISSED and eating a garlic bread stick 🥖 angrily and pissedly as hell. UM ANYWAY.... saltine started blasting wap on her bad bitch speakers and flitwick yelled at her. she ignored him and started twerking and shaking her bum. she was dumb and was sent to dumbledore's office. turns out he was watching effing HENTAI and saltine just sat on the couch next to dumbledore. "W T F  Y O U  H O E" exclaimed dumbledore. "this is messed up hoe" said saltine. "w h y t h e h e l l a r e y o u h e r e?" "because i played wap in charms and started twerking to it. "o h" said dumbledore. "do i get a punishment?" "e f f i t, b u t o n l y p l a y w a p i n p r i v a t e" "fine hoe" said saltine. then she went to potions. and here is where it got bad. so on the way there saltine started humming wap and then stupid lavender asked if they could be bffs. saltine just flipped her off and continued. anywayz, so snape was teaching potions and he was pissed as usual. it was christmas time and he got a gift from flitwick. it was three garlic breadsticks. snape ate them pissedly 😠 😤 😡 🤬

anyways he started teaching and the stupid ass saltine was like "bitchass hoe this is all wrong" so snape hit her with the breadstick and jammed it down her throat. he called her a know it all and that she should be bffs with hermione. so saltine ran to the bathroom and shat on hermiones head.
"you are the dumbest hoe i have ever seen!" hermione screamed and then ron broke up with her cuz she was so ugly as hell with her shat hair. then saltine sang wap for the talent show that night and got expelled. despite how smart she might seem, she is a bitch ass hoe idiot and dumbledore actually is smarter.