hagrid x dumbledore: part one

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by freshclappedcheeks

by freshclappedcheeks

so its 4:09 am rn. um anyway

hagrid was outside one day when he saw dumbledore running towards him. hagrid got scared so he ran into his hut. he had to shat and fart extremely bad. hagrid let out a big smelly fart just as dumbledore walked in. "w h y d i d y o u r u n a w a y f r o m m e?" he asked
"I GOT SCARED BECAUSE YOU WERE RUNNING TOWARDS ME" hagrid said. dumbledore asked hagrid if he had chapstick and hagrid knew right there and then dumbledore had chapped lips. hagrid knew dumbledore wanted to kiss him, and he didn't want chapped lips. "GET OUT HOE" said hagrid. he was mad! just then dumbledore stopped and he said " a t l e a s t m y s h a t s m e l l s g o o d" I DONT GIVE A TRUCK!!" said hagrid. and now he had been angered. he knew right there and then that his shat reeked and he was embarrassed. he flipped dumbledore off 🖕 and then took buckbeak and flew away to germany. it took very long because hagrid had to shat every 84 minutes.

meanwhile at hogwarts:
dumbledore say angrily in his office. he was clipping his toenails when mcgonagall came in and was PISSED AS HELL because dumbledore was clipping his toes in front of her. "you're disgusting 🤮" she said! right there and then she walked away and called 999. EXCEPT THEY WERE BUSY. turns out that umbridge has ruined the whole phone line system when she was doing nasty things with a dementor. then the dementor withered because umbridge had chapped lips.

that concludes part one! hope you enjoyed