harry potter ships + stories

drapple tw: gore

so yeah pleeeeeeeease comment requests! (they have to be funny th0)

um so chile anyways so u wot m8

the day started out normal, and draco got up to get ready for school. then he noticed a bapple sitting 🪑 on the shelf by his bed. "f this shoit im out" he then picked up the bapple 🍏. it was green and juicy and he wanted to devour it. but he was too scared. it was glossy and beautiful. he had a crush on it. he went to charms where flitwick was pissed as hell and then he started pissedly eating an effing breadstick. like who tf does that shit. anyways so then he went to transfiguration and he didn't want to turn the bapple into a glass because he was scared  it would stay like that. he started screaming and was taken to madam pomfrey. she was no where to be seen and dumbledore walked in and said that pomfrey was shatting. then dumbledore picked up the bapple  and almost took a bite out of it. then draco  started screaming and ate off dumbldore's eyelids. dumbledore is dead. a few days went by and draco would not let the effing bapple go. if someone asked him about the bapple he would flip and then rip their eyes off. he murdered pansy when she almost ate the effing ass bapple. then one day the bapple got all rotten and then znape walked in and he went "oh there's my bapple". and he took the biggest ass bite chunk draco had ever seen. draco started to rip of znapes eyelids but znape pushed him and stepped on him. then he got a red bapple and shoved it down dracos throat. then znape got expelled and became an apple auror. then he got murdered by a bapple. years went by and draco got married to the most beautiful mackintosh he ever did see. at this point he was like eff the granny ass smith ass bapple that znape had eaten all those years ago.