harry potter ships + stories

the mysterious breadstick

sup how are y'all? i will also be doing fun stories and not just ships <3

one day filch was in the great hall and he was pissed as usual. then he got to the gryffindor table and found a breadstick. he was tempted to beat a child with this. but who? he contemplated for a second but then his stomach growled. HE WAS EFFING HUNGRY 🤤. but right there and then mcgonagall came in all pissed cuz she was hungry as truck. welp, there was of course only one goddamned breadstick. "I FOUND IT FIRST" said filch. mcgonagall ran up to it and picked it up. "welp, i touched it first". she was 'bout to take a bite when all the sudden flitwick came in and got all heckin mad. "maybe we should figure out who's breadstick it is before we eat it." "stfu midget" said mcgonagall. then flitwick got pissed and then he ripped it from her hands. filch went to go shat somewhere. first up they asked dumbledore who was watching tv on the couch. "hey dumbass food girl is the motherfuckin' breadstick yours?" asked flitwick. "n o n o w s t f u i m w a t c h i n g n a r u t o b i t c h" said dumbledore. welp mcgonagall loved naruto so she sat on the couch next to him and they started screaming and swearing at the tv 📺 👿 like they be watching football 🏈. so then it was just flitwick. he had an urge to shat so he did on dumbledore's friggin carpet. he snuck out and decided, if he was confronted about it to blame it on umbridge. he walked through the halls and then he got to trelawneys classroom. she was irritating as hell. she said that it wasn't hers but took a big ass bite out of the breadstick anyway. there was one third of the stick left and flitwick hoped he didnt get it blamed on him. he took a tiny nibble at it so he would be able to concentrate. then he went to professor sprouts room. she got all pissed cuz she thought he was calling her a fatass. flitwick was quaking. then he got to snapes room. he was terrified of snape. he walked in to snape bullying harry as usual (love snape anywayz HAHHAHAHAH) flitwick asked snape if the breadstick was his and then he bullied flitwick and called him a fatass because he knew that it was flitwick who was eating the effin' breadstick.
then flitwick got to umbridge. she was the worst professor in the whole dammed school. she was flabby and looked like a deformed toad. when flitwick opened the door he was appalled at how much effin shat was in there. the lights were off and there weren't any students either. flitwick called 999 and everyone knew it was umbridges stick. she put it in the gryffindor table to make them all heckin jealous. then turns out dumbledore blamed mcgonagall for the pile of shat in his room so she got expelled. dumbledore was so pissed he even said that mcgonagall was the one who was eating all the breadsticks. theories lead to evidence that it could possibly be peter pettirgrew's stale breadstick he forgot about when he went to the school.

comment what the hell you think