The Beginning, Middle, but not the End

Day 5,905 (December 17th)

"Jo, you up?" I flip my body over to face the open doorway, and in the darkness I see her. She tip-toes towards me.

I sit up and put on my slippers, "What's up?"

"The sky," I smile at her sarcasm as she guides me to the backyard shining her flashlight. There's a small quilt that could easily fit our small bodies on top of it already sprawled onto the ground for us to lay down on. She must've brought it out here before she came into my room and got me.

"What's going on Callie?" I turn my head, watching her stare at the dark sky. There aren't many stars visible from here because we live in the city, but there are a few. They shine down onto us through the leaves in the trees like little spotlights. The moon illuminates the ground around us, also peeking through the trees. I try to count the stars that I can make out, but the branches above us hide them too well. Crickets chirp quietly and a few lighting bugs that quietly fly around us as they blink their neon lights.

"I'm thinking about applying for Florida International University," She stays silent after speaking.

Wait - what? I was expecting her to want to talk about Camden or something. Could I have just misheard her? I know she has been talking about getting her degree in forensic science, but I wasn't thinking about her moving all the way down to Florida for it. Didn't she say she was looking into St.Louis University or something at least a​ little c​loser? Why Florida International University of all schools? Aren't there schools around here that could provide the same courses for that same degree that she could be interested in?

"Why all the way down there? What's wrong with... here?" I feel my heart rate pacing quicker and quicker like a drumline in a marching band. Why else would she want to move over a thousand miles if something wasn't bad here? Everything she loves is here: her family, her home, her boyfriend. What else could she want? Why isn't she satisfied?

Callie sits up and faces me, "Nothing, Jodie! Nothing is bad here, it's all just the same. You know? I need something new, I'm 19. I'm supposed to be in college. If I have to deal with one more person complain at work, I might honestly combust."

I couldn't help it, but everything inside me starts pouring out, "Then do you just hate me?" Where did that come from? Immediately I want to take it back. She's my sister for God's sake. Just because she wants to move a thousand miles away doesn't mean she hates me. I should be happy for her. And I mean, she can always move back when she graduates. Besides, who says she'll get in? I'm not trying to be rude, it's just statistics. It's probably a one out of seven chance.

"No! Jo, I'm just thinking out loud here. I love you, and that's why I want to talk to you about this. I want your support in whatever I decide to do." Now I'm sitting up, my eyes leveled with her hazel ones. I take a breath and examine Callie's features in the pale moonlight. Her light, auburn hair looks darker in the night. The freckles that scatter themselves like leaves in the wind across her cleft nose become more faint in her hollow cheeks. The longer I stare at her, the more I realize she resembles our mom. They're both beautiful women. I remember growing up I wished I looked more similar to them than a literal mixture of Mom and Dad. Instead, I got his dark freckles, his medium-ish bumped nose, and his dark brown eyes. From my mom I got her heart shaped face, her bow-shaped lips, and her arched-at-the-tail brows. It's a very weird combination of the two of them that I adopted.

As I refocus on the present rather than comparing our faces, Callie asks me if I'm listening. I must've been more distracted than I thought. A faint smile grows on my face, and she returns it with a genuine one, "I'm sorry, I love you too."