The Beginning, Middle, but not the End

Day 6,139 (August 8th)

I go out to the garage where dad is loading some of Callie's things into his SUV and her car. Mom is in the kitchen, finishing her college prep gift. She's basically filling a box with treats and stuff that Callie likes. She's pretending it's just a box of small items so when she opens it later, she'll be surprised. Occasionally, she'll take a step back when she starts crying. I don't really know why I'm not. Anytime I even think about crying, I just shut down. I don't know what's going on with me. Dad isn't crying either, but that's because he's driving to Florida with her and staying a few days there to help out. She can't bring all of her items onto a plane, so they settled with the 1,223 mile drive. It's going to be an 18-hour drive at the average driving speed down there. I googled it a few months ago.

I hear the trunks slam shut, reeling me back into reality. Mom gives dad the last box, the surprise one, and hugs Callie, "Mom, I have to go. It's a long drive ahead of us, and I still have to say goodbye to Jodie." Mom finally releases her. There's a quiet moment when mom releases from the hug but keeps a hand on her. To break it, Callie walks over to me. Before I can entirely process it, she's hugging me. Her warm arms are tight around my sides. Why am I hesitating to hug my sister? My arms start respond and wrap around her neck.

Callie's warm breath chills me as she speaks, "I'm going to miss you, Jodie. Whether you like it or not, you are my little sister and I love you. I'm going to try my best to keep in touch with you almost every day. I believe in you, even when you don't." That's what hits me, tears fill in my eyes, and they start to pour. I try to restrain myself. Callie pulls away from me and rubs away the teardrops on my cheeks. I'm left hiccuping with nothing to say. "I love you," She smiles at me.

The words finally come out, "I love you too."

Mom and I hug Dad and finish saying goodbye to Callie. Soon, they are pulling out of the driveway, one-by-one. Dad leads Callie in his SUV, she follows in her little car. The little car I have so many memories in. Memories of happiness, and memories of sisterhood. I don't know if I'll see the little car again, and if I do, when, but it's gone now. And with it, all the memories. At least my sister will be able to carry them with her.

"Hey, Jo?" Mom walks into the study. After Dad and Callie left this morning, I came in here to read and take my mind of things.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to go out and get some Chinese food? We could see a movie, too, if you want." My heart picks up its pace. I haven't gone out in a while, and I don't think I want to right now. I shake my head as a response. She sits in the chair across from me, "Okay, well I'd like to spend some time with my daughter either way. I'll order in, and we can watch something on the television downstairs. Any suggestions? And no, you may not suggest not doing it." I shrug. "That's not going to cut it."

I nod and think about the movies I used to love, "Avatar? Or we could watch something else if you want, it's up to you."

"Avatar it is!" She pushes in the chair and goes downstairs. Whenever it comes to family time, mom is always really excited. I understand why, but sometimes it's humorous to watch. She acts like a kid who gets told they're going to Disney World. I guess it kind of is for a mother.

I retire from my book and go downstairs. Mom throws some spare blankets onto the couch. There's already two cups full of dark sodas on the coffee table.

"I ordered our usual, it'll be here in about 15 minutes. Do you want to wait and maybe just watch the TV until then?" She plops herself onto the couch.

"Sure," I sit next to her and wrap myself in the blankets.

It feels like we have been waiting a lifetime for the food. The doorbell rings, startling us. Maybe they read my mind? Mom jumps up to retrieve the food and to pay the delivery guy. She sets the food on the coffee table and arranges it all. Then, she pushes the table closer to the couch we're sitting on. I remember her doing this often when I was younger. It's like old times in a way. She plays the movie and sits back down. We watch in silence as we stuff our faces. This is nice.