The Beginning, Middle, but not the End

Day 5,912 (December 24th)

     We all stand back and look at the Christmas tree. Callie hits the button, transforming the dull but decorated tree into something much brighter and festive. The tree is scattered with small, warm white lights. The star at the top of the tree glows with the same warm white lights. I smirk to myself, this is peaceful. I shouldn't start thinking of the bad things. It's times like these that I should just be happy. I am happy. That's a lie, but today it's a good lie.

     The doorbell rings and I quickly walk over to answer it. I open the door and standing there is Dallas and his mom. His mother's blonde hair is covered in snow. They're holding gifts and a dish to add to our feast. "Hey, Miss Dolan. Hi, Dallas!" I make way for them to come in.

     Miss Dolan looks at me and frowns slightly, "C'Mon, Jo. What have I been telling you for years now?"

     "Hey, Stacey," She happily greets me with a side hug. I walk to the tree with Dallas and help him scatter their presents. We join the rest of the family in the dining room where Callie is setting the table. Dallas and I set the silverware while Mom starts bringing in the dishes with Miss Dolan's help. Once we are all seated, Dad comes in holding the Christmas crackers. He passes them out, one for Callie and Miss Dolan, one for me and Dallas, and one for himself and Mom.

     Everyone is smiling, Dallas and I turn to each other. His grin creates dimples and shows off his teeth which grow slightly inwards. I smile back. Callie raises her voice so everyone can hear her, "On three, everyone pulls. One...two...three!" Dallas yanks hard and suddenly I hear loud pops coming from all around the room and between us. I look down and Dallas has the prize. In his end of the Christmas-themed cracker is a green and red hat.

     "Hand it here, I'll put it on you!" I chuckle as he hands me the little paper hat. The hat just barely fits over his dark curly hair, but I make it work anyways. I sit back down and we all begin talking. Callie won her hat, and Dad won his. We all talk and laugh while feasting on the world's best honey roasted ham, savory green bean casserole with a crunchy coat of french onions on top, rolls so warm that the butter melted onto them glistens underneath the steam, brightly colored sweet potatoes, and homemade mashed potatoes that emit a smell of french onion. The adults are sipping on champagne, while Callie, Dallas and I are sipping on our white sparkling grape juice. Nothing else exists, in this moment, but my family and best friend. In this dining room with mismatched chairs, I'm safe. No harm can come to me in this room full of the best people I have ever known. Dallas and I are seated in our usual red chairs, and Callie and Miss Dolan in their blue chairs. Mom sits at one head of the table with Dad at the other in their normal orange chairs.

     I smile, and this time it's not fake because in this moment, I'm not sad. I don't want to leave it, I feel good here. It is important that I stay and focus on this. Everything here is good and pure. We all gather to the living area again. Miss Dolan sits in an armed chair, and Dallas in the other with me sitting on his armrest, everyone else is seated on the couch. We're all snacking on the Christmas cookies Callie had surprised us all with earlier tonight. Callie struggles to contain her laughter, "Okay, okay, but do you remember your neon phase? I swear you only wore neon green and pink for weeks!"

     Dallas hits my arm, "Oh yeah! I remember that! You got mad at me for a few days when you accidentally left your neon pink jacket at my house! You made me cry!" He begins to laugh, which soon turns into wheezing.

     I let out a laugh that I had been trying to suppress during the entire conversation, "Shut up! I thought I was making a statement!" Everyone laughs at the thought of me wearing all neon non-stop. It had started when the counselor suggested that I should do something different to make myself feel more in touch with society in seventh grade. How wearing neon would've helped that, I have no idea. I looked insane. It wasn't until Mom actually hid all my neon clothes from me until I forgot they existed that I left that phase. I miss those days.

     "If you wanna talk about fashion statements, we could discuss Dallas wearing only kid-sized onesies to school for a week during fifth grade and having to get a call home every day," Miss Dolan chuckles as she sips her champagne. We continue like this for hours, laughing and chatting the night away.

    Callie cuts into the conversation after Mom finishes ranting about the different ways she likes to cook, "We should do presents now because I'm ready to sleep."

    She starts passing them out, "Mom, Stacey, this one's for you, Dad, me, Dallas, and here you go, Jo." The box I'm holding is about three-by-three inches. Anytime I move it, there's a little jingle. I watch Mom open her present, which is a book that she has been dying to read. Miss Dolan opens a little wrapped box, inside is a pair of pearl earrings to match her pearl necklace which she received last Christmas. The little gift package for Dad contains a Swiss knife. Now it is Dallas' turn to reveal his present. He opens his tiny box and immediately his face lights up like a light bulb. He raises the small gift up, in his hand is a guitar pick autographed by Matthew McCaughan, the bassist from Dallas' favorite band called Bon Iver.

     "I can't believe you!" He stands up and embraces me tightly.

     We waddle around for a minute until he stops and yells again, "Hurry and open yours!" I untie the little ribbon from my little box. Carefully, I remove the wrapping paper which reveals a small, black jewelry box. I open it, and I can't explain how I feel. My chest feels like it's been hit. A smile spreads on my face. In the box are two rings, both silver. One says "Dallas" and the other says "Jodie." I look to my best friend, who is smiling with anticipation.

     "Do you like them? I figured because we have been friends for so long we deserve something to show for it. I was gonna get necklaces but-"

     I cut him off, "They're amazing, thank you so much. I love them, Dallas."

     He takes out the ring with his name on it, and slides it on my right hand's ring finger. The ring nearly fits perfectly. I slide the other ring with my name onto his right ring finger a well. We embrace each other one last time. I take in Dallas' signature scent, Old Spice cologne.

     In this moment, I am the happiest girl on the planet. I'm in my best friend's arms, surrounded by the people I cherish the most in this messy world. The grandfather clock in the dining room chimes loudly as it strikes twelve o'clock. It's officially Christmas and I couldn't be more thankful to have these people in my life. I'm going to bed with the biggest grin on my face tonight. I just wish this would last, but I know it won't. Everything comes to an end eventually, especially happiness.