The Beginning, Middle, but not the End

Day 6,035 (April 27th)

I open my eyes when I hear a loud beeping, and my head begins pounding again.

My headache ​has been on and off since Monday. I skipped school that day, and just laid in bed all day with ​The Smiths playing loudly, ignoring the pain in my head from it. Mom and Dad had both knocked on my door that morning, telling me I needed to go but I couldn't stand replying to them. I turned up my music and ignored them. On Tuesday, I went to school for half the day but skipped after fifth period. I left and went to a bakery on the strip. I hung out around there until school let out, then I went home and locked myself in my room. Yesterday was my first full day back at school. I avoided Dallas all day, including everyone else.

I roll over and turn off my alarm. Someone knocks on my door, and leaves quickly. That's odd. Usually they hang around my door for a minute. Maybe I misheard their footsteps? I walk to the door and get down on the floor to peak under the door. I scan the hallway for feet, but there are none to be seen. There is, however, a package with a note in front of my door. I stand up, and quietly unlock my door. After scanning the hallway briefly, I grab the package and note from the floor and return to my room, locking the door behind me again. I toss the package onto my bed and unfold the note:

Jodie,

Please talk to me. You have to understand why I want to do this. At least eat your breakfast, okay? I'm not going to say sorry because I'm not, I just want to talk to you.

-C

Fury fills my body, surging through my bones. Does she think she can bribe me into forgiving her for her lies and betrayal? Does she really not see how wrong she is in this? She hurt me, why does she think this can all just be dismissed? I throw away the note, but leave the package on my bed. With a closer look, it's a little bag of blueberry muffins, my favorite. Wait, no, I cannot give in to her manipulation.

I get ready for school and look outside, it's still dark. There's about an hour until the bus comes, so I grab my backpack, and put the muffins in it. The house is quiet, except for a running faucet. Callie must be in the shower, she probably has work this morning. I quietly go into the hallway, and sneak my way through the house until I'm outside. The neighborhood is illuminated by the streetlights. It's not too cold this morning, only about 60 degrees or so.

I walk down the road, and continue along the main roads. It's nice living in the city because of the sidewalks, and everything is close together. I find the Starbucks soon enough and go inside.

"Back again?" Asks the cashier.

I give him a small smile, "Yeah. I'm a fan of coffee, and it's nice to get moving early." The boy has blond hair, a bit shaggy, and dark blue eyes. I met him for the first time on Tuesday. He told me he started working here 3 weeks ago, and has never seen me around until then.

"I can tell. Name?" He smiles at me and punches in my order.

"Jodie," I tell him, as I do every time he asks my order. I wait a few minutes, and soon enough, he returns with my drink. He gives me a bag of cookies too, but I didn't order them.

I shake my head, "I didn't order those."

The boy smiles at me, "Are you sure? Hm, well you can have them if you want. On the house."

I thank him, and leave. The sun is starting to rise, just barely though. I try to embrace the view. It'd be selfish of me to be so angry with everyone and to ignore the world. I start to make my way to school because by the time I'll get there, the doors will be opening. The walk allows me to clear my mind, at least enough to get through the school day. That gives me time to go to my locker and take care of everything I need to do before school starts.

Chemistry fills me with more dread. I walk in, and see Dallas waiting at our table. He sees me and stands up. I walk over to our table and refuse to lock eyes with him. I'm still not in the mood to talk to anyone. No one would understand anyways.

"Jo?" Dallas furrows his eyebrows at me. I sit down and pull out my lab sheets. Because of my absences, she sent PDFs of all my missing assignments and notes. I go through the finished assignments, and put them aside to turn in.

"Aren't we doing the lab about the gold foil stuff?" I find the papers we should be currently working on.

I feel Dallas' eyes piercing through me, but I ignore it. My cheeks burn a little. Why can't he just leave me alone? "Jodie, stop. I've been trying to get a hold of you."

"I don't-"

"Have a phone? Yeah, I know. I got home from the movies with my mom and found it in my driveway. What's going on? What happened?" Why can't he just leave it alone? I don't want to talk about this, so I stay quiet.

The teacher walks in, "Good afternoon class, so do you guys remember last week when-" I don't hear the rest of her conversation when Dallas leans in next to me.

He starts to whisper, "Jodie, can we talk after class? We can skip next hour or you can wait for me after school?"

I don't meet his eyes, "No."

"C'Mon, Jo-"

I cut him off again, "I don't want to talk. Okay?"

"Well, when can we?" I shrug and remain silent. "What happened to that super eon?" Dallas' voice cracks.

The class seems quiet. When I meet the teachers eyes, she is shakes her head, "Oh, I'm sorry, do you want to finish the conversation you're having while I'm teaching? Am I interrupting? Or do you two want to miss out on the lab?"

The whole class stares at us, and I feel myself start to shrink in my chair. Maybe if I try hard enough, I won't be here. Dallas clears his throat, "I'm sorry, it won't happen again. I was asking her for help because I missed the last bullet point on the previous slide."

The teacher readjusts her stance, "Next time raise your hand and ask for me to go back a slide." Dallas nods, but I don't see him. Instead, I see his silhouette nod on the smart board. Though I am turned in my seat, I feel his eyes burning through the back of my skull. I want him to stop. The hour goes on, feeling like years. I stay quiet most of the class, but let out a sigh of relief as the bell ends our class. I get pulled into the crowds that sweep through the hallways as soon as I exit the classroom, occasionally bumping into arms and getting nudged by elbows.