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Nate Maloley Part 1

Five times! I've called him five times and still no answer! I've left voicemails each time and sent him at least a dozen text messages. He was supposed to be home by ten p.m.. It is now one o'clock in the morning and he is not to be heard of. I've called the Jacks, I've called Sammy, even Kenny! And somehow none of the boys can find my boyfriend. Nathaniel Montgomery Maloley you are so in for it when you get home!

Around two I decided to call it quits. I couldn't find the power or the energy to be mad anymore. Although I didn't expect to get much sleep anyway; I'm still worried about where he is and if he's safe. However, I manage to catch a few hours before the sunlight streaming in woke me up. As I figured, Nate hadn't slept in the bed, not that he had for weeks anyway. He was probably crashed on the couch, too intoxicated to make it up the stairs. My theories were proven correct when a half naked Nate was sprawled out on the couch. Normally the sight would have been arousing had he not smelt like stale liquor and weed. When I glanced over at the clock it was seven in the morning. I figured that I'd make us both some breakfast. He would probably be incredibly hungover.

Breakfast soon turned into lunch which turned into a late afternoon snack. It was now about four o'clock in the evening and Nate has yet to wake up. I even went over a few times and checked to make sure he was still breathing. I had to admit that Nate being unconscious the whole day made things a lot easier for me. I was able to clean the house, finish my school work, watch some TV, and I even did yoga for a little bit in the back yard.

At around six thirty in the afternoon, sleeping beauty awoke from his slumber on the couch and strolled into the kitchen where I was making Chicken, Ziti, and Broccoli. If this had been a few months ago I would've walked over to him and showered him in kisses and offered him some food. But this is not a few months ago and I will not do any of those things. Instead I continue to stir my Ziti and act like he is not there. With all the fights we've been having and with him hardly ever home I've learned that staying silent is sometimes the best option. I was done fighting with him. I was done being the only one in this relationship who cares.

"I'm going out tonight," he said, monotonously. No question or suggestion. Just a simple sentence. I just nodded my head and continued to stir. "I don't know when I'll be home. Maybe around midnight." Lie. "I'll be safe." Lie. "I won't drink or smoke." Lie. All lies. I nod again. "Okay?" He asks confused about my not answering.

"Fine. Have fun," I stated simply. No hint of sadness or feeling in my voice at all. This surprised him because he raised his eyebrows and gave me a strange look.

"Fine? Have fun? Who are you and what have you done to my girlfriend? Aren't you supposed to give me the speech about how I never spend time with you and that I'm a terrible boyfriend." He was getting annoyed now. Nate loved to fight. He would always use my "nagging and neediness" as an excuse to party and "calm down". But I wasn't going to give him that excuse or the satisfaction.

"No it's fine. Go have fun." I looked him straight in the eyes. I was not giving into a fight.

"You seriously want me to have fun tonight? You don't care that this is my 6th night out this week?"

"Nope. You go have fun Nate. Go have a ball. Drink and smoke until you can't walk straight anymore. Go fuck some girl you don't know the name of without a condom. Dance with random people you've never seen before and have the night of your life. But don't be surprised when you come home and all of my stuff is gone. My clothes, my accessories, my makeup, all of our pictures that hung on the walls. Don't be surprised when you try to call me only to find that I've changed my number and you have no way to reach me. And while you sit at home crying your eyes out because you've lost the best thing that's ever happened to you I'll be somewhere working on my happiness. With a man that doesn't need drugs or alcohol or parties to make himself feel good. When all he needs is my love and support to make him feel better. Because it's going to happen one day. It may be tonight or tomorrow, or even six years from now. But it will happen one day. And you'll be left with nothing but a bottle of vodka and your own lonely, broken, pathetic soul. And it will be no one's fault but your own. So you go have fun 'Skate'. Go live your life. Because I'm done fighting for ours."