Bad Boy's Baby Girl

That's Fucked Up

*Monroe's POV*

Hearing those words coming from his mouth makes my heart feel like it's being shredded into pieces. Is that really what he thinks of me? That I'm just some spoiled little rich girl? God, I'm such an idiot! I knew who he was right from the start yet I still thought I would be different than all the others. He knew exactly what I needed to hear so that I would sleep with him. With the tears streaming down my face, it's a miracle I make it home in one piece.

I run straight to the basement and take several drinks straight from a bottle of whiskey. A pang of longing crushes my heart as I think about how much I wish my mom was here to hug me and tell me everything will be okay.

I consider calling Maddy and Charlie, but I really can't bear to explain my entire history right now. Tommy, I need to call Tommy. He's the only one who will understand. Well, Dylan and Ryan would too but Ryan would probably just focus on the fact that a boy was involved and Dylan gives the most horrendous advice. I swipe angrily at my tears as I scroll to Tommy's name in my phone. He answers on the third ring.

"Hey kiddo. Aren't you supposed to be in school right now?"

I'm too busy attempting to reign in my tears to reply and he says, "Monroe? Are you there?"

I swallow and say "Yeah, I'm here," But it comes out weak and my voice cracks on the last word.

"Holy shit, Monroe are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt?"

"No, no. I'm not hurt. Well physically anyway."

"Okay, then tell me what's got you all worked up."

I swallow and compose myself as best as I can, but tears are still escaping down my cheeks. "I thought that moving across the country, I would be able to start over and leave my shitty past behind. I thought that for once, people would judge me for me and, you know, how I treated them without the stains of my past. Well, it turns out that if people don't know your past, they'll just make one up for you and make assumptions based on that. It literally does not matter what you do or who you are as a person. I'm starting to think I would have been better off in New York with the pity stares and stigma."

"Aw kiddo. Are we talking about people, or one person in particular?"

I don't answer. "So one person then. A boy?"

I still don't answer. "Well, whoever he is must be two things. One: very special to have this kind of affect on you and two: a fucking idiot for not seeing how incredible you are."

I let out a sob/laugh and say, "You're right, he is a fucking idiot."

"So, what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know. I don't think I can trust him again. I feel like I handed him my heart and he just stomped all over it. I think it would be better if I just stayed away from him. I'll only be here another 8 months before graduation and then I can go somewhere else and try again."

"Is that what you really want?"

"I have no idea."

"Unfortunately, I can't help you out with that one kiddo."

"I know," I say with a sigh, "Thanks Tommy."

"Anytime. And, if you decide you want me to come to Cali and kick this guys ass, let me know. That's something I can help you with."

"Of course. Bye Tommy, love you."

"Love you too," he says and I end the call. It was nice to hear Tommy's opinion but for some reason that conversation did absolutely nothing to bridge the chasm widening in my heart. I decide to try and drown my feelings in this expensive bottle of whiskey. I drink until I can't even feel my face anymore and then make my way up to bed, still clutching the bottle.