Stray Kids one shots || honeyndwild

Changbin | Long distance relationships

You can't breathe. You know, you need too. And you know it's the only way to get through it all. But you can't breathe, and it's eating you from the inside.

You know how he should look like. Of course, you do. Millions of photos send to each other, countless video calls, talking non-stop, secretly studying each other's faces... You know how he looks, and how his voice sounds, and how he smiles and laughs. But you don't know the way his touches feel. You don't know the way his lips taste. And it drives you insane, because– You want to know all this so bad. But you're scared. So scared you can't even move.

You decided to meet in your hotel room. It was easy for you, no need to try and find the restaurant or his dorms in an unknown city. No need to do anything. Just sit there, in the darkness of your room. Shaking. Waiting.

You smile exhaustedly, leaning back on your bed. You can't believe it all is real. Your palms are sweaty, your head is aching from all the nervousness and pressure. And you growl exhaustedly, hitting the bedsheets.

"Soo Changbin, I hate you!" You scream as hard as you can, not meaning a single word. You thought you've already overcome that nervousness a long time ago when you were just starting talking. But it turned out, you weren't. And you hated that. You hated the fact you were weak now.

"Fuck, why so long?.." you breathe out, rubbing your eyes. It's hard to wait. It's almost killing you to wait. What if you're not the way he thinks you are? What if he's not the way you think he is? What if you're too tall? Or too small? Or too big for him? What, if he won't like your eyes or hair? What if he won't smile the way he was smiling through your video calls? What if–

The knock.

You don't want to hear it, but it repeats, light and almost inaudible. But still there for you to hear.

"God. God! God!.." You jump to your feet, startled. Fix your upturned hoodie in panic, clinging to the soft fabric like a life jacket. You know you should open the door, but it is too scary for you now. Its big, black, shining surface makes you cringe, not wanting to move from your spot. "God, what should I do–"

The knock repeats. This time more insistently, louder.

"I need to open it," you whisper to yourself, closing your eyes. "It's okay, girl. You can do this."

You want to cry. To escape. To disappear into the unknown. Just not to do it, these steps towards the door. But, of course, you do it. Step by step, shaking, with your eyes closed, you do it–

And nothing happens.

You're standing there, with your door wide open, with your eyes shut close. You know, he's here. You can smell his cologne. The light wind dances around the corridor, touches your cheeks lightly, making you smell the cologne better. And the food. You're sure he brings the food with him. Something made just some time ago. And you bite your own lip, wondering what it is.

"You're smaller than I thought."

The voice. The one, talking with you through voice messages and video calls. The familiar one. The loved one. And you smile, just a little, just with the corners of your lips. Because you're still tensed, you're still not ready.

"He-ey," you hear him chuckle softly. "Why are you– Why are you standing there, and– Your eyes..."

You can hear he's nervous, too. His voice is trembling. Exactly like yours. And it surprises you. He? Soo Changbin? And nervous??

"Can I–" he clears his throat awkwardly. "Can I come in? The package is heavy as heck."

And, finally, you're able to smile. And you do smile, slowly, as gentle as you can. You want to answer him, to say "yes", but the words are stuck in your throat, and you don't find the best way to just open your eyes and say it with them.

Your eyes meet. He stares at you, and you stare back at him, unable to look away. Unable to get enough of him. Of the way, he looks in his loose closes, with his black hair, and shining eyes, and that happy smile on his face, and–

You don't know why or what is happening because the storm begins unexpectedly. The one second he's standing in the corridor. The second later he's already inside your room, throwing the packages to the floor. You don't know why he's rushing like this until he hugs you. So tight it makes you gasp.

"Bin–"

His fingertips are soft against your chin. Soft, but firm, tilting your head a bit to the right, gently, just enough for him to feel comfortable while leaning in. His eyes are shining with pride and happiness, but the second later he closes them tight, allowing the instinct to lead him. And it does lead him right. Right to your lips. And when he finally kisses them, you melt into him without a way to escape.

He's hungry, and it's not that hard to guess. He's pulling you too hard to his body, and his breath is too shaky against your skin. And when he lifts you, securing your back firmly, you smile right into his lips with satisfaction. Everything you wanted to taste is right in front of you, pleading you to take it in, and you feast without regret, enjoying every second.

At some point after, you're lying on your bed, your back pressed to the soft sheets. He kisses your face, every inch of your cheeks, and lips, and forehead, then down to your neck and a bit of your collarbones. The weight of his body feels pleasant on you, making you close your eyes and smile in satisfaction.

By touch, you find the back of his neck, playing with his a bit spiky hair, and he stops his kissing shower for a second, chuckling into your lips. Looming over you, he stares at you, his eyes like two black shining pearls. You stare back, smiling, trying to catch your breath. You can see your reflection, displaying in his eyes. You look happy there. And messy, just a bit.

"Hey," he whispers suddenly, gasping for breath. And you smile, even more, trailing down his neck and shoulders.

"Hey."

You're familiar now. Familiar and comfortable. The first introduction to each other was successful, and now you can't wait to see what will it all lead to.