Haikyuu X BiPoC Reader

Terushima Yuji X Self Harm Reader

TW: ⚠️ THERE WILL TALK OF BLOOD, SELF HARM AND SELF HATE, PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU AREN'T COMFY EITH THAT⚠️

This is a comfort for everybody who's done self harm, has had suicidal thoughts or just has hated themselves now or in the past. I want you to know, IT GETS BETTER.

You were at in your apartment alone again letting your thoughts get you to.
Everybody hates you. Terushima is only with you for sex. You aren't good enough. You're useless.
They were flooding in your head and you kept looking at the kitchen. You got up and walked there slowly, thinking of what could hurt you.. turning on the stove and keeping your hand on until you felt like you learned your lesson. Stabbing yourself in the knee with a fork. Burning your hands with water from the sink.

The knife... it's right there, just press into your wrist and wait for the skin to tear and watch the blood drip into the sink. Nobody will know.

Your hand slowly reached for the handle and when you picked it up, you saw your reflection.
You held the knife over your wrist and paused.
The wrist is one of the parts of your body with the least nerves so it won't hurt as bad when you hurt it.

You read that in your anatomy textbook. You pushed the knife to your skin and pulled. Blood. It flooded out of you and dropped onto the floor. You kept doing, not wanting to stop, until the door turned. You ran your hand under the water in the sink and tried to rinse it off but the blood kept coming.
   "Babygirl!! I'm-!" Terushima looked at you washing your wrist vigorously and he ran to you. "Woah what happened?"
   "J-just... cut myself making dinner..!" You stuttered and he looked around.
   "Y/N, I may not have the best grades but I'm not a complete idiot." He said and moved the sink nozzle. The blood poured out from your wrist and you looked at Terushima.

He stared at your bleeding limb and you saw how upset he looked, your eyes beginning to well with tears. You tried to muster an apology but he picked you up and carried you to the bathroom, grabbed the first aid kit. He opened it, and took out the peroxide. He splashed it on your wounds and you screamed from the intense stinging. He took your arm and patted the wound clean of blood, then wiped it with a medical wipe, and finally wrapped it.
Terushima pushed the kit out the way and pulled you into a hug.

   "Why?" He asked and you broke into tears, rambling about how much you hated yourself, all the times somebody said something bad and how many times you messed up. He clicked his tongue and shook his head.
   "You're so dumb... everybody messes up, if you didn't you'd be a robot.." He said. "And nobody's life is constantly happy, if it was you'd be a game show host.."
you looked at him and listened to all his words.
"Don't go solving your temporary problem with a permanent solution." He said and you nodded and wiped a tear. "Now how many times did you cut?"
You thought for a moment and looked at your bandaged wrist. "17.."
He took your wrist and smacked it. You winced and looked at him.
     "For every cut, I'm gonna hit." He said. "Count."
  You did, counting each hit he gave you. He took your other wrist and kissed it 17 times.
    "You didn't cut this one." He said and kissed again. "Good girl."

He pulled you into a hug and rubbed your back, kissed your forehead. He leaned down and pushed you into a the bed. You cried out and he chuckled, saying he was gonna flick your head every time you thought of something bad and kiss you whenever you had something good to say about yourself.

  "Look!!" You cried and ran into the kitchen, showing off your dress. "I can still fit my dress!!"
You twirled around and smiled big. Terushima picked you up and spun you around chuckling, he set you down and kissed you.
    "That's six." He said and you nodded.
It had been a month since the incident you had and you had said four bad things and now said six good things. They may have been small, but they were progress.

You watched Terushima write what you said on the calendar in green sharpie and he smiled.
   "Fuck-FOOD!" You shouted and he ran to the stove, grabbing the pan of stir fry. He took it off the burner and you laughed. He looked at you and smiled, loving to hear your laugh and see your smile. He wanted you to be happy.

Hi! I hope I did this topic justice because I haven't really experienced something this bad. I once took a bag of random pills to school once, hoping to overdose, but I've never cut myself. I understand why people cut and I want to help them, so I do the same thing Terushima did, smack each cut you have hard. And I celebrate when you make it past a certain milestone. I hope you all feel better after reading, even if it's just like 0.00001% it's progress. I love you! And so do all the anime boys and girls