Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Recreation

Chapter 14 The Installation

The temple shook as the Elephant crashed into it!

Grif: What the hell are they doing out there?

Tucker: They've been trying to blast their way in here ever since I locked it down. They're not having much luck though- ARE YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLES?!?!?!? This stuff looks like rock but it's way tougher.

Ruby: I cut my way in. They're just idiots.

Grif: What's tougher than rock?

Caboose: Paper.

Tucker: How the fuck should I know? Super rock? What am I? Some kinda geographist?

Sarge: They have some kinda big machine out there.

Tucker: Yeah, they just got that thing. I think THEY think they're gonna yank this door off with it. Not fuckin' happening.

South: So they want the weapon?

Tucker: Yeah, and we can't let them turn it on, no matter what happens.

Sarge: Well, why don't WE just turn it on and use it against them?

Tucker: Fuck, what? We don't know what it does! We could turn it on and it could turn us all sterile!

Ruby: Of course that's what worries you.

Kaikaina: Would it do that?

Tucked: Well, the last weapon we found was designed to wipe out all organic life in a HUGE radius.

Grif: *whistles* Wow. . . What's a radius?

Delta: A radius in this scenario would be how far the weapon would reach.

Tucker: Yeah, and that's bad. Point is, don't touch anything. You hit the wrong button, you flip the wrong switch, we'll all be dead before you can say- Where's Caboose?

Sure enough, the Blue soldier was missing.

Sarge: Uh, I don't think that's how the expression goes.

Ruby: No, he means where is Caboose?

South: Why does he keep wandering off?!

Sarge: He's been trying to rig equipment to do something. We don't really know what. That boy's not quite right, you know?

Tucker: What?! I just said not to touch anything and you guys let him walk away to find equipment! What the hell is wrong with you?! Man I swear, you guys use always been idiots, but this takes the cake!

Kaikaina: He's on OUR team asshole.

Tucker: Oh, right. . . Hey uh, so if you guys aren't doing anything, you wanna help me go find Caboose?

Sarge: Let's go.

They began to look for Caboose.

Grif: So embrassing for you.

Tucker: Just go find the guy.

Grif: So sad.

Tucker: I fucked your-

Ruby: Both of you, shut up!

*At Valhalla*

Lopez was working on the mongoose, humming as he did so. Meanwhile, Simmons was sprinting towards him!

Simmons: LOOOOOOPEEEEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!

Lopez: (Spanish) No! I just fixed this. This one is mine. Stay away!

Simmons: HE'S HERE! HE'S HERE!

Lopez: (Spanish) Who?

Simmons: THE BAD GUY! THE GUY WHO WANTS TO KILL US!!!!!