"So... who are you with?" The burly security guard steps forward, barring your way.
"I'm with the band," you say, your voice loaded with suggestiveness, and it doesn't go unnoticed.
He raises an eyebrow, taking in your too-tight dress and cherry red...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I linger around the bar area whilst the band are setting up their kit. The drink choice in here is pretty dire and I end up reluctantly ordering a lager.
"Hold on... make that 6 pints actually," I tell the bartender, with the lads in mind.
"Now there's a welcoming sight!" Johnny smiles as he sees me making my way across the room, awkwardly carrying three pints which is as many as I can manage in one go. "Here... let me give you a hand..."
I thank him as he jumps down from the stage and rushes over to the bar to grab the remaining plastic pint glasses. "So... have I converted you to lager then?"
"It's not like I've got a lot of choice in here," I start to grumble, about to go off on a rant, but then I check myself. I really don't want Johnny to think that I'm fussy and difficult. "But it's not so bad," I add quickly. "Maybe I'll get even more used to it when we're on tour."
This comment raises a joyful smile on Johnny's face. "You know I'm so glad you're coming with us, I'm really looking forward to spending more time with you."
The feeling's mutual, I think, but I don't say it.
"I'm sure it's going to be loads of fun," I reply as I reach the stage and Johnny boosts himself up and reaches for his guitar. "Hey... maybe you could teach me how to play the guitar or something while we're on the road."
I don't actually mean it, but Johnny's eyes have lit up like I've suggested something truly amazing. "You know, that's a brilliant idea. I'd love to! I'm a really good teacher... I'm very patient."
Van's adjusting the height of his microphone stand and he looks up when he catches the tail end of my and Johnny's conversation. "What are you pair on about?"
I don't get chance to answer as at that precise moment Larry strides in, his voice loud and booming. "Here it is lads!"
I turn to see him carrying a large board with handwritten scrawl all over it. "This is the best one yet, I'm telling ya!"
"C'mon then, let's see!" Van shouts, excitement in his voice.
Johnny shakes his head but he's smiling nevertheless. "I swear you guys are gonna get in trouble for this one day. Someone's gonna take offence ya know."
"What is it?" I ask, intrigued.
Larry's grin gets even wider if that's even possible as he turns the board towards me so that I can view it properly. "Made us our own special merch board to put behind the stand. We do one for every gig!"
My eyes dart over the board which is advertising all sorts of lewd services, each with a price. Notable mentions are 'signed titties £2', 'cum shots £3' and a 'catfish special' which would set the lucky purchaser back... yes you guessed it... £69.
I feel like I've been transported back to secondary school amongst a group of pre-pubescent boys the way they all start sniggering at my look of disgust.
