Deva: Living Outside The Ladder (Complete Story)

Act 4 Scene 2

(Deva was sitting in his booth at a restaurant)

Deva: *I don't know what Milo was planning when he said he'd set me up. I'm not too keen on setups but if it'll put Wendy at ease and make her stop being weird around me, then I won't have to put up with that noise*

(A masculine-looking woman in a dress comes in, tries to walk with feminine grace. This is obviously Milo in a female disguise)

Milo: Hi!

Deva: (turns around, disturbed at the sight in front of him)

Milo: (acting feminine) Oh please stop, I haven't been this admired since......ever.

Deva: .......What......the.......fuck!!

Milo: (offended, femininely of course) Hey now, that's not a very nice thing to say to a lady!

Deva: Are you serious right now?! Milo, I could see right through that disguise! What kind of creepy-ass demon would possess you to dress like this?

Milo: I'll have you know that's very offensive to transgender people!

Deva: Yeah, when they're dressed like that every single day! But seeing you, shirts and pants on one day and suddenly today, when I have a blind date you've set me up with, and you're standing here rocking dresses? That's shady as fuck dude!

Milo: You're just jealous because you're not as pretty as me.

Deva: I don't give a fuck about that! Why are you here anyway?!

Milo: Well I was gonna sit down, laugh at your jokes and hold your hand, but you don't even deserve a share of my milkshake! Talk to me like that and you want all the benefits?! Well, I'll tell ya something mister. Bambi is no fool.

Deva: Dude! Stop talking! You're treading into creepy territory now.

Milo: How heartless could you be? Do you know how much thought I put into this disguise? I've created a very unique identity that I'm proud of.

Deva: Your name is Bambi for Christ's sake! That sounds like you ripped it off from that movie.

Milo: Hmph...I don't have to stand here and take this. This date is cancelled. (Milo walks off in a feminine manner).

Deva: Man what a weirdo!

(Obe, Issei, and Ned come into the scene)

Deva: Yo what the hell. What are you guys doing here?

Obe: We came to spy on your date. And I must say, she's very rough around the edges.

(Everyone starts laughing)

Deva: Fuck off man! That whole experience was just fucked.

Issei: It was fucking hilarious to us! Consider us even for putting me in that gay porn situation.

Deva: I don't get this guy. I know he doesn't identify as a girl, but the man wants to convince me he's one yet he has visible leg hairs like dude, he thought I wouldn't notice that.

Issei: He secretly wants to put it inside your asshole.

Deva: Issei. don't paint that picture in my head! Jesus! Now I'm wondering if this man is low-key gay. Even then I don't care if he is, but he's a straight man who normally doesn't rock dresses and pulled this shit. Y'all should've heard half the shit that was coming out of his mouth. It's like a major 180.

Ned: Man I'm never forgetting this. This has to be one of the funniest dates you've been on in history.

Deva: Yea yea, laugh it up you fuckers! This time I'm setting up a real one for tomorrow.

Obe: Is it that nerd that you met at the mall?

Deva: Dawg she's not really a nerd. She's just into music, her brother's the nerd. And she's 100% girl. I hope that goes well though, cuz it could make up for the fuckery I just went through today. (Takes out the phone, and as he's typing) Hey...Tammy...I'm thinking of going out for a walk and get some fresh air tomorrow after school. Let's turn this into a date night, you and me. And make sure you bring that singing voice with you (insert side-eye emoji)...And...send.

(Scene ends)

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