The Princes of Ayodhya-The Ramayan Through Short Stories

The Reaction-Part 2

        "What about your wife? Urmila? You very well know that she loves you so much! You are her one true love! Would you leave her of that! Are you so irresponsible?! Are you so selfish? Are you so cruel? Do you not know any dharma at all to condemn an innocent, pure woman to a life of bitterness and sadness as a widow?" Ram felt like he was about to shout. For a moment, Lakshman flinched, and Ram felt a sense of victory. But Lakshman covered the momentary mishap up so quickly and expertfully that he wondered if he had imagined it, he wondered if it had happened at all.

"Urmila-she would understand. She would, I know it. Besides, she is still young, you know? She is still kind. Sita bhabhi would surely give her the companionship she needs and deserves. And if she wishes to, she can remarry. I would not blame her for that. She has plenty of love left in her for it to be diminished when I leave." Ram never thought his brother would utter such words so emotionlessly. Ram knew the love he had for his wife. He clenched his jaw, and began to seethe. Lakshman did not react.

"What. About. Your. Brothers." Ram spat angrily, crossing his arms again across his chest and staring Lakshman down angrily.

"Shatrughan is good. He is happy. He will find some humor to make out of the situation. He has his mother, and everyone else. He has Shrutakirti, who will support him. I regret that I was not as close with him as I could have been. But that is alright. That is fine. Bharat-I still think that he had nothing to do with it. My suspicions are aroused, of course, but I love him enough to not believe it. I will leave behind for him a set of paintbrushes large enough to keep him sustained throughout his lifetime. He will live."

Ram was not mentioned. He was not even mentioned. It was as if he did not fall into the category of "brother". Ram felt anger coursing through his veins like a boiling hot water bath. "And what about me?" he hissed, his teeth gnashing together threateningly.

Lakshman stared at him blankly, and Ram suddenly realized something that he had never agreed with before; why Maa Sumitra always called his eyes the color of the night. They were the darkest of the dark, darker, even, than the night sky for which his eyes were compared to often. "I am nothing to you. I am simply a Rajkumar. You are simply a Prince." That was the breaking point for Ram.

Lakshman's words were cut off by a slap. In all of the anger that clouded his thoughts, making his consciousness hazy, Ram had thrown his hand wildly. "Is that all I am to you?" he asked in a stuttering voice, seemingly broken. "A Rajkumar? That's it? One conversation broke everything? Years of dedication and trust and family and love? You are my brother! For goodness sakes, I would care if you killed someone! I WOULD CARE IF YOU DIED! I am worthy of being mentioned as your family!" he cried.

"Remember how we used to laugh together in childhood? Remember how we used to never eat without each other when we were toddlers? Remember how every single birthday, you raced to give me your present first? Remember how there was a time when I could not sleep if you were not there? Remember how I was always the first to the scene if you got hurt? Remember how you always beat those two bullies in Gurukul-Daura and Riku-who insulted my name, but you never, ever did it if they insulted you?

"Remember how I always used to get you fruits and sweets when you were hurt? Or how I always fussed over you if you even got a scratch? Or how I defended you from any monster? Or how I sat beside your bed when you were unconscious? Or when I laughed at your stupidest jokes when you were a toddler-god they were so terrible! Or how I always took your side whenever you and Shatrughan fought? Has all that been forgotten in your bloodthirst?" Ram cried desperately. Lakshman did not speak. "All of it?" his voice was broken.

Lakshman did not put a hand to his red cheek where Ram had slapped him, he only turned his head slowly to stare at his brother. Ram felt guilt surge in him, but overpowering that was a necessity for validation. "Slap me once." he bit out. Finally, came his brother's bleak voice. "Slap me a thousand times. I want to stab Kaikeyi. I want to hear her scream. I want to hear the steady sobbing of her old, shriveled, raisin of a nursemaid. No matter how many things you throw at me, no matter if you raise a hand against me."