Shadowhunters One Shots

By The Light Of Dawn

A/N- a little break from the stars spam to show this idea that's been in my head all day

TRIGGER WARNING: DEATH AND MENTIONS OF SELF HARM

Alec POV

"Oh god," he said. Everything around him seemed to blur. Jace had activated the Soul Sword, Magnus could've been inside. He ran outside the institute, if he were alive, he would be coming any moment. He was there for a solid half an hour before he gave up. He ran back inside. There was always a chance he could've survived the blast. He ran around the entire institute, ignoring people's queries. The elevator was the only place he hadn't checked. He approached it carefully, scared of what was to come. He walked around the corner and saw a pair of boots. His boots. He walked closer and it was him, eyes closed, tanned skin turned ghostly white. There was a child in his arms. Protecting people until his final breath. The child was Madzie. Alec fell on his knees next to the two corpses. He grabbed the dead man's hand. It was cold, and he didn't grab back. He didn't slightly squeeze Alec's hand when they were in a social situation. He didn't caress his face with his thumb when he was upset. "Aku cinta kamu," he whispered. It was the only phrase he knew in the language, but if it would make a difference, it was worth it. He stroked the dead child's hair as the coroner took the two bodies. He didn't feel sad. He felt angry. Angry that he couldn't save Magnus. Angry that his own parabati killed his boyfriend. He got up and walked towards the living quarters. He got to his brother's room and opened the door. He needed comfort. Even though Jace killed him, he knew exactly how to comfort Alec. When he opened the door, he saw Jace and Clary, making out on top of each other. Alec rolled his eyes at them. "Is there something you need, Alec," Clary said. They pulled away from each other and stared at him. "I-" he said. It was obvious he was interrupting, their eyes could say it all. "Never mind, have fun, use protection," he said and closed the door. He walked towards his room. He closed his door with a bang. He went to take a shower. The familiar itch was back, and that wouldn't end well. He turned the shower up to the highest temperature and got in. It was a habit he had when something like this occurred. He didn't do anything, he just sat there, letting the scolding water burn his skin. He went to reach for his shampoo. Sandalwood. Just like he wore. Alec couldn't stop the tears. Magnus, his Magnus, was dead. He would never see him again. 

He got out of the shower when his skin was bright red and on the verge of blistering. He put on his shirt and sat on his bed. He picked up his phone and called his parabati. "Hello," Jace said, clearly tired. "Hi uh-" he said but stopped when he heard Jace yawn. "Never mind, go back to sleep," Alec said. He was about to hang up when he heard Jace speak. "Dude, this is the second time you've done that today, it's fine, just tell me," he said. "Magnus was in the institute, he-" he started. The phone hung up and Alec sighed. Even his brother didn't care. A few seconds later, he heard a knock on his door. Before he could even stand up to open it, Jace barged in. "Dude you could've just told me," he said, looking at Alec's bright red skin and the steam spilling from the bathroom. He sat down next to him. "You know I have to ask this right?" Jace said. Alec nodded. "Did you turn the  shower all the way up to feel pain?" he asked. Alec shook his head. "It's a habit, every time Magnus was at work or out at Pandemonium and I was upset I would go in the shower and turn it all the way up, and when he got home he would heal any injuries I got from it if I went too far," he said, voice breaking when saying the man's name. Jace nodded. "I'm so sorry," Jace said. "You couldn't have known, Jace, if anything blame Valentine," he said. Alec could feel his guilt. "I should've kept him home, hell I should've taken him out of New York," Alec said. "God I'm so stupid," he said, pinching the inside of his palms. Jace noticed and pulled his hands away from him. "Stop, okay, it wasn't your fault, Magnus is in a better place now, reconnecting with some friends of his most likely, maybe having a few afterlife drinks," Jace said.  Alec giggled slightly at his remark. 

They kept making silly jokes like that for the rest of the night until Jace fell asleep. Alec didn't sleep, the image of his boyfriend's dead body burning a hole in his mind. He picked up his stele and drew a rune. The mourning rune. He drew it on his shoulder, where only someone important could see it. His hand slipped into his pocket and he pulled out a small eyeliner pencil. He always kept one, just in case Magnus ever needed a touch-up and forgot his. He finally slept that night, thinking about the first time he saw Magnus with no makeup on, bare and beautiful.