Shadowhunters One Shots

Stars part 35

A/N- nothing good is going to score put of this, apologies

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIOMS OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, EATING DISORDERS AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE

Izzy woke up in the middle of the night to a groan. "You okay baba?" She slurred. She got no response. "Baba?" She slurred again. She received no response yet again. She was about to fall back asleep when she heard a large thud. She sat bolt upright and looked around. "Clary?" She called out. She got out of bed and walked around the room. Her eyes landed on her wife, lying in the middle of the floor, arm wrapped protectively around her chest. Izzy almost screamed. She picked up her phone and started calling people. "Iz? What's going on?" Alec asked, followed by a yawn. "I don't know, Alec, I don't know, I just woke up and Clary just passed out on the floor, I don't know what to do," she said, hyperventilating. "Listen, me and Magnus are on our way, make sure she's breathing," Alec said before hanging up. Izzy knelt beside her wife. "Please, please be okay, I can't lose you, not again," she whispered. She was trying to take deep breaths, imagining Clary’s voice in her head, but nothing she did worked. Logically, she knew she was breathing, but she couldn't feel it. She could faintly hear the door knocking but she couldn't stand up and get it. The door was basically broken down by Alec. Sue could feel someone drag her off Clary. "Please! I can't leave her! She needs me!" Izzy yelled. "Izzy, its me Magnus, can you nod if you can hear me?" Magnus said faintly. Izzy nodded. "Okay, I just need you to take deep breaths for me, okay?" Magnus said. She looked behind Magnus and saw Alec scooping her up and taking her to the infirmary. "I can't do it, I can't do it," Izzy said. Magnus stood up and went to the medicine cabinet. He picked up Clary’s anxiety medication and walked back into the room with it. "Open," he ordered. She obeyed and opened her mouth. Magnus poured two pills into the mouth. Izzy swallowed. Her breaths became even and her eyelids became heavy. She fell asleep right there.  

She woke up again on the floor. She was pretty confused. She looked around for Clary, but couldn't find her. She found Magnus though, sitting on the couch with Alec. "Where's Clary?" Izzy asked. They both looked up. "Isabelle-" Magnus said. "Don't 'Isabelle' me, where is my wife?" She repeated. Magnus sighed. "She's in the infirmary with Catarina," Magnus said. Izzy started putting her jacket on. "Iz, where are you going?" Alec asked. "To go and find out what the hell is wrong with my wife and if I'm going to have to prepare for the worst, which you refuse to tell me," she said, putting on her shoes. "You won't be allowed in, I told Catarina to not let you in, no matter what," Magnus said. Izzy stopped. "Oh you sick mother fucker," Izzy whispered to herself. She took off her jacket and shoes quickly before pushing Magnus up against the wall, holding a knife to his neck and choking him. Alec immediately stood up. "Iz, calm down, we know you're hurting, it's okay," Alec said, fear evident in his voice. Magnus swallowed thickly, scared for his life. "Izzy, listen to me, she's going to be okay, you just can't see her," Magnus said. "Why not? Do you think I'm gonna freak out or something? I watched everyone I loved die and you think I would freak out over my wife?" She said. "No because she's in pain!" Magnus yelled. Izzy stood back and let Magnus go. She watched as he dropped to the floor, gasping for breath.  "What did you just say?" She said. "Clary is in pain and we know for a fact that you seeing her like that will not benefit you and you might do something none of us want," Alec said. "What do you think I'm going to relapse again?" She asked. Magnus shook his head. "No, we think you're going to do what Clary did," he said. "We saw the bandages," Alec added. "Five years, Alec, five traumatising years of watching my brothers, my wife, my kids, my mother, my father-in-law, my best friend die right in front of my eyes. Five years worth of going to Raphael because he was the only thing that could ease the pain. Five years of spending nights at Brooklyn Bridge because I wanted to die. Five years of eating little to nothing every single day, and yet I still have never, ever, brought a blade to my skin," she said. "I was treated by the silent brothers, I don't think that way anymore," she continued. Alec and Magnus looked at each other in shock. "That's the first time you've spoken about it to us," Magnus said. Izzy paused for a moment. She sighed and put her jacket back on. "I'm going to see my wife, and there's nothing anyone can do about it," she said and walked out. She basically ran down the stairs to the infirmary. "I'm sorry but you can't come in," Jace said when she got there. "Please, I need to see her," she begged. "I've been put on orders, I can't let you in," he said. "Since when did you follow orders?" Izzy asked. "Since I started worrying about you," he replied. "Please, please, let me in, that's all I ask," Izzy said. "I'm sorry, but I can't," he said. Izzy sighed. "Jace, please-" she begged. He shook his head. Izzy pushed him. "You asshole! Just let me pass for God's sake!" She yelled at him. Catarina came out after a moment. "Catarina! Can you tell me what happened? I need to see her!" She said, breaking away from Jace. Catarina just kept walking away to Magnus' room. She overheard their conversation. "It's quite bad, but I did manage to find a diagnosis, well, two diagnoses," she said. Izzy’s breathing stopped for a minute as Catarina continued. "Its pneumonia, that's the major one I found, I didn't find a cause though, which is something I'm looking into, its also COPD, most likely a progression from her childhood asthma," Catarina said. "Wait so it's both?" Alec asked. "Unfortunately, yes," she said. Izzy felt the tears pricking her eyes. She walked back to the infirmary to find Jace no longer there. She took the opportunity to walk inside. She regretted her decision almost immediately. Clary was pale, almost deathly pale. She was hooked to a breathing machine. She saw Jace and Simon at her bedside. "Izzy you need to leave," Simon said. Izzy's feet couldn't move. She was frozen.