The Color Blue

27.27

You know that feeling when you feel like you need to be somewhere? For no particular reason it just feels right and all the colors stop. Since Danny died the colors have been so dim and overwhelming and at the same time because they all overwhelmed me. Danny always joked that if I ever found myself in front of Billie he would not stop me from loving her. He was always so understanding of my love for Billie and I feel like it hurt him because although his color was beautiful it was never blue. Not because I didn't want it to be because if it was my choice I would've colored him blue but blue was her. She was blue and her color will always be blue. Our color will always be blue. Everyone is in your life for a reason, everything happens for a reason and they might be a character building experience or the love of your life. In Daniels case he was something good in my life. He was amazing and I always feel guilty for not feeling like he was the love of my life. I feel like he was in my life to show me the good and love me when I couldn't love myself and our love was beautiful but my soul ached and desired someone unreachable. Someone I wouldn't even be able to be with because I lost someone I thought I was going to marry and that turned my color theory upside down. Not only did my dad take away Billie but he took away Daniel. And deep down I felt like an asshole for not being able to tell the world which hurt more.
I sighed and looked around the street one more time before walking down the stairs to the subway. Maybe my intuition was wrong? Maybe it was too dim in my head to be able to understand anything. The subway quickly became crowded and my back was touching someone else's. At a harsh break I swung back onto the person and that person caught me and pushed me back up. "I'm sorry" I said struggling to turn to see the person and once I did the world turned blue. It was her. My beautiful color blue. "I found you" she whispered out softly.