Unfathomable

15.

Madara:

I don't know when I started to get suspicious. I should have started to realise something was up when the amount of cars on the ride increased. Or even earlier when Hashi had asked to take over the wheels, even if I'd only driven for an hour. But it wasn't until Hashirama parked the car that my heart truly plummeted.

"No... No, Hashi I can't do this."

Hashi smiled, beside himself. Didn't he understand? Watching this would be agony for me. I would throw up of jealousy.

"What do you mean, you can't?"

"I can't watch it! I'm sorry, it's great of you, but it will break my heart to see, knowing what could have been."

We were parked in the lively area of the ski resort where this years national championships were taking place. The parking lot was full of people carrying skis and equipment around, and of families that have gathered to watch with thermoses and handmade signs.

Hashirama opened his car door, went around and opened mine. He held his hand out, and after some hesitation, I took it and stepped out. He put his arms around me, pulled me close, kissed the top of my head.

"Madara Uchiha..." he murmured, grabbing my chin, pulling away a little to look me straight into my eyes. "Who said you're going to watch? You're competing."

I heard a whooshing sound in my ears. It was soon replaced by a ringing noice. Everything around us disappeared. Even Hashi disappeared for a while, his firm grip on my shoulders the only thing anchoring me to reality.

"Madara..."

I heard his voice from far, far away.

"What?" I tried to whisper, but it was only a wheeze.

"Are you okay? Did I do you wrong?" he sounded worried.

"Hashi..."

"I'm sorry, I should have talked to you first, I should have-"

I threw myself into his arms. He stood still at first, confused, but then he relaxed, and I felt him put his arms around me.

"Hashi, thank you", I said. I was crying at this point, clinging to his body, breathing the citrus smell of his hair oil in.

"You're welcome", he said, voice muffled.

Suddenly, I panicked. Gosh, this was a rollercoaster of emotions. "Hashi!! I don't have any skis! Or anything ski related! I only have my jacket and thermals at home and they're not suitable for competition!"

Hashi smiled at me. "Follow me", he said, took me by the hand, locked the car and dragged me with him.

Hashi took me to reception where he gathered some keys, and then we went to the most amazing skiing villa I had ever seen. It was ginormous, made of dark wood with red window sills and huge glass windows.

"How many families live here?" I whispered in awe.

Hashirama stopped behind me, put his lips pleasantly close to my ear. "Just us", he murmured, and I shivered. Holy shit...

He unlocked the door to a large living space that was open to the two story ceiling, with a kitchen area in one far corner and a living room area in the other. It was large and spacey, airy and open and I guessed the bedrooms would be upstairs. But I didn't really have the mental headspace to take it all in, because on the couch, lit up by the alp sun, was a set of skis, staffs and a pair of skiing boots.

I slowly tiptoed to them as if afraid they would become scared and run away if I advanced too quickly. I sat down on my knees and just stared in awe.

"You are allowed to touch them", Hashi said warmly behind me.

And I did. I let my fingers slide over the hard plastic of the skis. I knew exactly what skis these were. It was one of the most prestigious brands in the world, and this model was the most highly regarded. But few people were able to afford them. They were advanced, extremely high quality and cost more than all skiing equipment I had ever owned in my life put together and doubled.

"Did I do this right?" Hashi asked, sounding worried. "I had your little brother help me design them. No-one have these colours. They're made for you."

I just gaped. They were black and lime green and the pattern was phenomenal, almost a bit ancient Egyptian which contrasted the bold colours nicely. To my great surprise, the metal of the staffs were lime green to match, which I had never seen before, and they were of the same brand. And the boots... Icy blue, so bold it almost hurt the eyes, with metallic red fastenings. They were mesmerising. I loved them.

"Hashi, you don't need to buy me things", I whispered, looking up at him. "I can't accept these.

He bent down, hugging me from behind. "Oh, but you can."

"I owe you so much!"

He put his arms around me. "You don't owe me anything, Madara."

"But-"

"Listen!" he said this so sternly I laughed a little. "This is important. Look, I know how it's like growing up having dreams those important to you don't believe in. My parents hated the fact that I wanted to become an author. I'm aware I'm very lucky to be able to live off my authorship, but still, I would have faded away if I did anything else." He put his finger underneath my chin. "Your reaction is the only thing I need." He handed me something else then, something soft. It was a suit for skiracing suit in marine blue and red, matching my usual thermals and jacket. "The competitions start tomorrow. Let's just relax tonight and get some food in you."

Hashirama:

That evening was a feast. I had expected Madara to be somewhat closed into himself as he'd been signed up to a competition he hadn't really prepared for, but there was none of that. He was almost as bubbly and talkative as Izuna the entire evening. I asked him about it while we were having dinner at a restaurant, if he didn't feel any remorse. The restaurant was Italian, expensive, cosy, and Madara indulged in his bruschetta and cannelloni and tiramisu and an espresso martini and in me, as I was indulging in him.

"Hashi, I have prepared all my life for this! Don't worry..." At this, he'd reached out his hands and taken mine, and looked me into my eyes. He looked fantastic in a black off-shoulder cardigan and skinny black trousers, his hair in an updo. "I am happy."

Me too, kid. Me too.

We prepared to go to sleep in one bedroom each that night, but the tension between us was palpable. We brushed our teeth in separate bathrooms, but were always very aware of where the other was.

"Goodnight", Madara said, standing in the doorway to the bedroom he'd chosen.

"Goodnight, Madara", I said and went to sleep as well. But I couldn't fall asleep for the life of me.

And after two hours, I heard the silent steps of Madara Uchiha along the wooden floors.

"Hashi... I can't sleep."

"Come", I said, reaching my arms out.

And he clambered into my bed, clad in a t-shirt and soft trousers, put his nose in the nape of my neck and fell asleep immediately.