Unfathomable

23.

Madara:

I sat on the couch the room Hashirama stayed in, a blanket around me. Hashirama was in the small kitchen of the room, warming something on the stove. Finally, he came to me carrying a mug of something that smelled divine and a plate.

"Eat", he said. It was a mug of hot chocolate with whipped cream and a plate of omelette and three avocado toasts.

"I really can't-"

"Shut up and eat", he said, but he didn't sound mean.

Turned out, I could. This week had been the first time of my life I'd lost my appetite. But now... I was ravenous. I had to force myself to slow down because I knew I would be in pain otherwise. I had wanted to go with Izuna in the ambulance helicopter to the hospital so bad. But one look at Tobirama and I had decided not to. It was clear he hadn't forgiven me for causing Izuna this, and that he needed some time alone together with his unconsious boyfriend.

"Good boy", Hashirama siad when I'd finished up, and I blushed for some reason. He was sitting on the couch next to me, his hand on the back of it, a respectful distance from me. "Now, tell me."

I looked at him. "What?"

"Tell me what's bothering you."

I looked away. "It's my fault..." I whispered, barely audibly.

"I'm sorry, what?" he asked.

I looked at him, eyes filled with tears again. "It's my fault!" I shouted. Hashirama remained calm, waiting for me to continue. "He came to comfort me. I was depressed because of you and me and us and I couldn't get out of bed! He came to comfort me!" It was all pouring out of me now. "And I just screamed at him! Told me he had no right to talk to me like that and that him and Tobirama wasn't a real thing because of their age and that they would break up. I screamed at him!" I started crying. I hid my face in my hands and cried. "He went off-piste to cleanse his mind of his brother screaming at him for the first time in his life. He did nothing wrong!" Hashirama let me be for a while. Then, he shuffled closer and put an arm round my shoulders. I leaned in on him.

"Madara... First of all, Tobirama doesn't blame you. He blames me." I was taken aback. "He didn't even look at me. He's angry with me for not contacting you causing your depression, that in turn caused you to lash out on Izuna."

"Doesn't matter what Tobirama thinks", I mumbled. "It's still my fault."

"Madara Uchiha, darling." I shivered pleasantly at him calling me this. "Izuna is mature. He knew he shouldn't go off-piste at this time of the season. You did wrong, and you regret that. But the decision to go off-piste was Izuna's, and Izuna's alone." I knew he was right. I knew. But still... "We cannot make what me or you or he did undone. But we can do what we can to help Izuna from here on out."

I turned to Hashi, looking at him with large eyes. "Hashi... Why didn't you contact me?"

He sighed, looking away. "Honestly Madara, I realise now how wrong I was." I felt dread clench at my heart. "I was absolutely, one hundred percent sure I was a one-off thing for you. That you were not one for relationships. The thought didn't even struck me that you were interested in keeping in touch with me."

I furrowed my brows. "After all I said? After all we went through? After all you did for me? I told you I liked you!" Hashirama looked away. "Hashi, look at me."

He did. "I realise now I was wrong", he said, cupping my face. "And I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"

"No." I said.

And I leaned in and kissed him.

I heard him breathe in, placing his entire palm on my cheek. The kiss was slow, passionate, our tongues instantly wrestling softly in our mouths. I moved so I was straddling him, put my hands on his face and depend the kiss. His hands were in my hair, pulling, and I leaned my head back and moaned softly. He lifted me up, carried me to the bed and laid me down carefully, then leaned over me, still standing on the wooden floor. "I missed you", he said, looking me deep into my eyes. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too", I whispered.

He lifted my body further up in the bed and clambered after me. He reached his hand into his weekend bag and got a small bottle of body oil out, made to smoothen skin, and put it on the bedside table. He stood up on his knees, one on either side of my waist, me panting under him, and started to undress me. I was only wearing my pyjama trousers and a hoodie, so it went fast, and before I knew it I was completely naked, causing me to blush. He took some of the oil into his hands and started massaging my abdomen with it. I closed my eyes and sighed, enjoying the massage. He moved his fingers up to my breast bone, my collar bones. He took some more oil and started circling one nipple, then the other, and I became a moaning mess beneath him.

"Hush, baby..." he whispered, putting his other hand on my lips.

I tried remaining quiet, but it was impossible as he started working his thumb over the most sensitive part of my nipple, making it glisten with oil.

"Can't believe the national ski champion is mine", he purred.

"Hashi", I said harshly. "With all due respect... You're the one who came here in a private jet."

"Shut up", he said.

"No", I said. "Take me. Hashi, take me."

He undressed himself as swiftly as he'd done me, then leaned over me. His long, chestnut hair fell to the side of his head, creating a curtain on one side of us. I took the tips between my fingers. "You want me to cut it for you again?" I asked.

"Yes, please", he said, and kissed me once more. I could feel his leaking tip to my opening, and he pushed in slowly, oh so slowly, and the sensation was so softly powerful it consumed my soul. I moaned into Hash's mouth. He stood up on his knees, one hand on my cheek, eyes locked deeply with mine. And we kept looking at each other, madly in love, his hand on my cheek, as he made love to me, slowly moving above me, for a long, long time, before we both came, together, me grabbing the sheets, Hashi leaning his forehead to mine, until we were both empty but still hungry, full but not satisfied, clinging to one another.

Whispering things.

Hashirama:

I looked at his oiled, glistening body as he snoozed next to me. After the whole thing, I had straddled him while he lay on his stomach, massaging the citrus-smelling oil onto his muscular back. Oh, Madara... The despair of almost losing his little brother radiated from him, even in his sleep. He slept uneasily, his brows furrowed, sweat glistening on his forehead from the soft bedside lamp I still had on as I had been reading, sitting up in bed while Madara had laid down with one arm around my thigh. Now, I lay opposite him, looking at him. I considered waking him up from his bad dream, but decided against it; that it would be better to just let it burn out on its own accord, rather than locking it in within him so it couldn't escape.

I kissed him on his forehead before putting my arms around him. Then, I turned the lamp off and let Madara sleep uneasily in my embrace.