Unfathomable

31.

Two years later.

Madara:

My phone rang, and it was an unknown number. I usually didn't answer those, but I was in the midst of cooking a Thai noodle salad for me and Hashi for a weekend lunch and there were sizzling pots everywhere, so I didn't really have the brain capacity to think about it and reach a more suitable conclusion than to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"It's me."

I dropped my phone. In slow-motion, the phone fell to the floor. I saw it bounce around a bit before coming to a halt. Shit...

"Hello?" I heard his little voice from the phone. God, he was twenty now, yet his voice was as small as when he was fifteen.

I came back to my senses, bent down and picked it up. "Sorry, I dropped my phone. Eh... Hi." Oh, my God, I'm not prepared.

"How are you?"

"I am fantastic, thank you." It was true. Me and Hashi were still living in the villa by the Cornwall beach. I had started skiing a bit again, participating in smaller national competitions. I wasn't winning, but I'd come second once and third two times. I was still giving classes for a living, and Hashi's writing had skyrocketed to the heavens. "How about you?"

I could hear the smile in his voice. "I am fantastic, thank you. We've started seeing patients! And I excel at all of my exams." I smiled at this, happy. "And Tobirama just got promoted at the company where he's programming. We've bought an apartment together! It has two bedrooms! One to sleep in and one for... Ehhmm..."

"BDSM?" I couldn't help but smirk.

"BDSM. And it's just two years old with a beautiful bathroom and an en suite and... And..."

"And what?"

"We're getting married!"

"Oh, my God, Izuna, that's fantastic! When did he propose?"

"I will give you all details when... If... You want to meet me?" I was taken aback at this. I hesitated, and Izuna noticed. "Madara, please! We are brothers! And we used to be so close! I mourn that. I want you in my life again. Like before."

I smiled a sad smile that Izuna of course couldn't see. At that point, Hashi came in, and seeing I was on my phone, kissed the top of my head and offered to take over the pans on the stove. I was grateful for that. "I don't think that would be a good idea." It felt like we were two different people than last time we met; how could we ever be the same?

"Madara, please!" Izuna begged so desperately that Hashi turned to me questioningly, mouthed "who is it?" to which I mouthed back "Izuna". "Please, just meet me. I'm in Cornwall tomorrow for a meeting with the snowboarding committee. Please, meet me.

I was quiet. I looked over at Hashi, but as expected, he didn't give me any cues as to what I should do, wanting me to reach that conclusion myself.

I sighed, gathering some courage. "Okay. Okay, let's meet."

I looked into his dark brown eyes, so large underneath his delicately shaped eyebrows with a slit across the right one, his lips wet with lipgloss. He was, once more, laying next to me in bed, and we were facing each other, playing with each other's hands. We hadn't seen each other in more than four years. He was so beautiful, his body strong and more curvaceous than last I'd seen him, his face lined by a fantastic bone structure. He had cut his hair short, so that it was as short as Tobirama's, and that made him look like a fucking model. He had also grown so he was taller than me, and he would be taller than Tobirama, which must look adorable as he was clearly the bottom. He was wearing a black tank top and an unbuttoned black-and-white checked shirt over that with black cargo trousers, dressing a bit more masculine than he had before, but with a soft makeup on his feminine face that lifted his eyes and lips to the heavens. On his left ring finger was a beautiful matte platinum ring with a small diamond indented in it. But more than his appearance, it was his aura that struck me. He radiated competence and stability and an insane happiness that came from having found the love of your life.

"I am so happy for you", I whispered.

Izuna let his delicate fingers slide across my neck. "I am happy for you."

"I'm not the one getting married", I said with a warm smile, putting a hand on his limp thigh, so small now he hadn't used his muscles in a while, and put it on top of my legs, knowing Izuna would like the closeness even if he couldn't feel anything with that leg.

"No, but you look so happy! So content! I see the way you and Hashi look at each other. You're meant for each other!"

I smiled, beyond myself. "I know. He's amazing."

"He's amazing for you and you are amazing for him! Never forget that!"

I became silent, Izuna as well, the gravity of the elephant in the room consuming us.

"Madara..." Izuna said.

"Izuna-" I said at the same time.

We looked at each other at the same time. I waited for Izuna to start.

"I want my brother back. I need by brother back. Please. Please, let's try. I know it might not come as naturally as before, but let's try. We're not the same as we were, but who knows; maybe the two people we are now get along together, too. Let's try communicating regularly, see if we can become normal again."

I put my hand on his cheek, stroke my thumb over his lip. "Okay... Okay."

Izuna stayed at our villa for the two days when his meeting was held. We talked about his wedding, planning a little. We cooked and joked, watched films and went for walks, me pushing Izuna in his wheelchair. It was tentative at first, but the more time we spent together, the more natural it felt. Maybe... Just maybe...

I looked down on my little brother in his wheelchair in front of me, a blanket over his legs, mindlessly fingering his ring while smiling at the Cornwall sunset. God, I loved him. I loved him so much. I hugged him from behind, and he put his hands on my arms. I felt tears streaming down my face before I started crying openly. Izuna turned round, pulled me into his lap where I sat, and held me, letting me hide my face in his short hair, my breathing wobbly.

"God, I missed you", I whispered.

"I missed you, too", he whispered. "Please, be my best man at my wedding. I would be happy if you wore a dress, even if I'm wearing a suit."

I just squealed something incomprehensibly.

"Oh, and by the way..." I could hear Izuna's smirk. "I top him sometimes nowadays."