Unfathomable

16.

Madara:

I had always imagined I would be cool and calm before my first competition. That I would wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed, everything as usual, than stand at the top of the hill, throw myself out and win.

I was no such thing as cool.

I woke up with my face in Hashirama's smooth chest. He must shave, I thought.

"Good morning", he said, smiling warmly, his voice a bit raspy in the morning.

"Hi", I said, feeling myself blush, backing away shyly.

"No, no, no... Don't back away... Stay", he said, and pulled me into his embrace again. "How are you feeling?"

Suddenly, I was wide awake. "Shit, it's today!"

"Nervous?"

I was. I threw myself out of the bed and started walking back and forth, going to brush my teeth, then remembering I hadn't had breakfast yet, nor been to the bathroom. I had been a whirlwind of a mess for a good fifteen minutes before I felt a strong hand on my shoulder.

"Madara..." I turned round. His chocolate-brown eyes were kind, and he was smiling. "Go down to the kitchen. I'll cook breakfast."

I sat down, and watched him work in the kitchen with ingredients we'd bought last night at the local grocery shop. In the end, he had a fantastic plate of omelette with salmon and cream cheese, vegan waffles with maple syrup, and grapes.

"Wow", was all I could say.

"Eat up!"

Just like Izuna, I never lost my appetite, not even when I was nervous or sad or sick. I would never forget that time Izuna had a stomach bug and I found him in front of his laptop, eating Doritos.

"Aren't foods supposed to be off-putting to you?" I'd asked.

He looked at me as if he didn't understand a thing. "Why?" he asked, mouth full.

I was the same, really, so I ate up everything without any hesitation.

"Hashi, thank you", I said. He wasn't even halfway through his plate.

"You're welcome", he said and smiled, and I realised how incredibly comfortable I felt around him, how taken care of, how important. It was as if the world revolved around me, and no-one had ever made me feel that way before. I was a horny slut, at best, wanting one night stands or sexual relationships lasting a week, maximum. I just couldn't get attached to anyone. Hashi, though... He made me feel so grounded, so... Whole. Was I sexually attracted to him, though? I thought about the times we'd kissed, when I cut his hair and in the car, and I felt shivers run up and down my thighs, and I had to take deep breaths not to get an erection underneath our breakfast table. The thought of having this unit of a man over me...

"What's up?" he asked, disturbing me in my daydreams.

"What?" I asked.

"You're blushing. What were you thinking of?" He had the sneakiest smile on his face.

"Nothing", I said, looking away.

But he knew. He definitely knew.

The person in front of me in the line stood behind the little stick in front of his ankles, getting ready to throw himself off the steep downhill mountain. Nerves surged through my entire being, and I realised how nervous I was. I tried to force myself to relax, as the nerves made me stiff which could cause me to lose time and, worse, put me in danger as I needed to be loose in my body to ski safely. Being last in the starting field didn't help, either. I wanted to text Hashirama so bad, but I realised we hadn't exchanged numbers. I need to ask him before I leave. Hashi was just dropping me off at home, then driving the car to the rental spot and taking the bus to the airport from there. I was leaving later that same evening to university, so time was limited. Maybe tonight-