nihilism (miya chinen x reader)

AI/// CHAPTER SEVEN

{~~time-skip~~}

WARNING- BRIEF MENTIONS OF TRANSPHOBIA

you had already gotten home from school, the day was quiet, you hadn't really spoken to miya, or anyone for that matter. maybe you were too embarrassed to start a conversation, but you were pretty sure part of you wished he would.

it wouldn't hurt to have a friend.

but, still, you'd more than likely be a burden to hang out with, given the fucked up brain you had, and the dangerous tendencies. you had never seen miya hanging out with anyone, though. you were torn between wanting him to have a friend, wanting to be his friend, and wanting to stay as far away from him as possible. i mean, you had just started talking to him, chances were he DID have friends, and you were just over thinking this.

you couldn't figure out why the topic was even stuck in your mind in the first place.

"BIG SISTERRRRR!!"

you groaned, walking downstairs.

"what's up? where's mom?"

"mommy left, she wouldn't tell me where she was going! i need you to walk me to the bus for daycare!"

"damn, okay. are you ready?"

your sister, ai, was only 9, so as much as you hated it, there was no way you'd let her walk alone.

"mhm!"

she grabbed your hand, dragging you out the door.

you sighed, following along side your sister. you plugged in your headphones again, this time playing a song that had been specifically stuck in your head.

no children by the mountain goats

after this morning, one line of the song had specifically stood out to you

"hand in unloveable hand"

you couldn't figure out why, exactly, but it's not like you cared too much. sighing, you keeped your eyes on your phone. ai wasn't too stupid, for a 9 year old at least. you figured she could do her best not to get hit by a car.

you really cared about ai, you almost wished she wasn't your sister. for her sake, not your own.

she generally got picked on, quite a bit. and your dad was a total dick to her.

{~~first person p.o.v~~}
she had been born a boy, but she was very insistant on wanting to be a girl. she always loved wearing dresses, and she always complained that she wanted to be my sister, not my brother. i was glad she had figured herself out, but my parents weren't. my mom did her best to respect my sister, but she always complained that she was "too young" to know who she wanted to be.

my mom was quite the pushover when it came to my dad, this was probably her way of trying to agree with him. i'm sure that when i'm not around my mom misgenders her and what not, refusing to buy her the clothes she wants wear, but she knows if she does it when i'm around i'll get mad.

my dad, on the other hand, didn't even make an effort. he was always insistant on invalidating ai, no matter how big of a deal i had made of it. that's why i try my best to be a good big sister to ai.

hence on the try.

she was always scared i'd leave her, which in her defense, i definitely tried. a lot.

but i think it'd be a character building experience! the only person who respects you dies? main character vibes, you know?

suddenly, a random group of people gasped. looking up, i saw a familiar face. miya, who was standing on his skateboard with a ball in hand. i wasn't really sure why everyone had gasped, and couldn't tell if i really cared. looking at him, i finally realized.

"well? are you gonna stand up or not?"

"hand in unloveable hand"

{~~second person p.o.v~~}

"y/n! the bus is here!"

"huh? oh! alright c'mon."

"hm? you're coming too?"

"course i am, you shouldn't ride the bus alone."

"mommy lets me!"

you poked her nose before walking onto the bus with her hand still in yours.

"and mommy's an idiot."

you gave your sister the window seat before sitting next to her, leaving the aisle seat open.

you pulled out your phone again, your sister humming next to you.

"this seat taken?"

you slightly jumped at the voice before turning.

"oh- no, go ahe- oh! miya! no it's not taken, go ahead!"

he sat next to you, whilst your sister looked at him, you could've sworn you saw stars in her eyes.

"you're the boy who did that trick!"

"hm? yeah, i am."

"well, mister! how'd you do it? and how did big sister know your name?"

"big sister?"

he smirked at you.

"yes, congrats miya, my parents had sex after having me. would you like to talk about that?"

his smirk disappeared, leaving him with  flustered face, before turning back to ai.

"we go to school together."

"damn, you could've said i was your friend. i'm hurt, miya."

"i don't need friends."

you rolled your eyes.

"where are you going anyways?"

"dropping ai off at daycare."

"ai?"

you nudged your sister, who smiled at the boy.

"what about you? where are you going?"

"a skate shop."

"hm? why? you already have a skate board."

"i'm going to talk to someone."

"i thought you said you didn't need friends?"

"he's not my friend."

"then why would you want to talk to him?"

"to challenge him."

"to what?"

"a beef."

"...beef? like? hamburger?"

"fucking idiot, a race."

"oh. that makes a lot more sense! can i watch?"

"no."

"what! why not? no fair."

"because i said so."

"please?"

"no."

"i'll let you pet my cat."

"okay you can come."

ah. you'd need to get a cat.

"can you keep a secret, y/n-chan?"

"hmmm yes! why?"

"i'll tell you later."

his eyes flickered to your sister, ah. makes sense. she really couldn't keep a secret.

you sighed, you hadn't eaten since what was it, two days ago? you had bought chips from the gas station, but you were too tired to eat them.

you forgot how much motivation it took to do things.

your eyes flickered to the boy sitting next to you, who was on his phone.

well, maybe you had a bit of motivation